February 17, 2003

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  spiffytiffi912 (7:24:03 PM): introduce the shifty eyes in taiwan

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:24:16 PM): i will

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:24:22 PM): they'll probably be like..

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:24:30 PM): "daugher of satan!"

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:24:34 PM): daughter

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:24:42 PM): hahha OR, "Messiah of TRUTH"

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:24:50 PM): hahahaha

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:24:54 PM): she brings truth!

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:25:00 PM): this "shifty eyes"

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:25:04 PM): they must be LAW!

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:25:17 PM): hahaha!!! And then, Taiwan become more SHADY

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:25:20 PM): and untrustworthy

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:25:21 PM): yes

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:25:23 PM): very much so

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:25:27 PM): there will be no business deals

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:25:35 PM): b/c they won't trust us shifty-eyed asians!

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:25:41 PM): hahaha!!

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:25:43 PM): the economy will crumble!

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:25:45 PM): what have you DONE?!!

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:25:49 PM): you've ruined millions of lives!

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:25:55 PM): WHAT?

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:25:58 PM): ME?!!

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:26:03 PM): you're the one who invented it!

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:26:04 PM): you!

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:26:11 PM): all your fault!

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:26:21 PM): but it's okay in america!!!! but TAIWAN?!

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:26:35 PM): Unleashing locuses of SHIFTYNESS

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:26:37 PM): i believe we have just introduced...

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:26:43 PM): THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:26:46 PM): Ahahahahahaha

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:26:52 PM): it all began with shifty eyes

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:26:57 PM): yes

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:27:02 PM): if ONLY people could TRUST one another

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:27:16 PM): if only...

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:27:29 PM): but we can't even trust sparklin' cider bottles

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:27:33 PM): much less each other!

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:27:57 PM): hahaha! the bottle was looking at me all last night

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:28:03 PM): oooh

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:28:05 PM): following me around with its invisible eyes

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:28:09 PM): I'M ON TO IT

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:28:09 PM): with its invisible shifty eyes

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:28:16 PM): it plans evil

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:28:21 PM): exactly! IT GO SMASH NOW

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:28:26 PM): hahaha

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:28:41 PM): but wait! THE SHARDS!

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:28:43 PM): THEY BURN!

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:28:44 PM): aaah!

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:28:49 PM): they'll kill you!

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:28:54 PM): for even they have the shifty eyes

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:29:20 PM): what will i DO?! i can't destroy it! and i can't take its invisble eyes anymore

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:29:26 PM): oh no!

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:29:31 PM): chuck it out the window!

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:29:42 PM): let the poor person who stumbles upon its evil deal with it then

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:29:48 PM): Oh....that's what it WANTS...to be set FEE...

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:29:49 PM): hahahahaa

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:30:00 PM): *FREE

  
  

  spiffytiffi912 (7:30:01 PM): oops

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:30:13 PM): hahha

  
  

  watermelonwish (7:30:30 PM): it wants to be set fee!

  
  

  Hello, hello, hello!  I'm back!  Taiwan was great and all I did was eat and eat and eat.  And shop.  And then eat some more!  I haven't checked my weight yet, I'm too frightened.

  
  

  Here's a quick rundown..."quick" meaning "so long it might kill you"...

  
  

  I left around 8 pm on Weds night.  We went to the airport and checked in our bags (which, btw, were quite empty, just waiting to be filled with Taiwan treats!).  We (sis and I) ate at In n' Out and then we boarded the plane at 11:20 pm.  And then it began.  The horror.  I sat RIGHT NEXT TO THE BATHROOM.  Every moment of the ride, there was either someone’s ass staring at my face at they waited for the bathroom, or (even worse) I would smell the god-awful smells as someone enters/exits the bathroom.  It was horrible.  I ate nothing except candy.  I listened to my CD player the whole time (side note:  Thanks so much to my boy, B. Zia, for giving me the Linkin Park CD, it was such a lifesaver!  It lessened my need to vomit in shame by a precious fraction). 

  
  

  We arrived in Taipei, Taiwan on Friday at 6 am (Taiwan time), and my uncle and Daddy picked us up.  My sister and I decided to start calling our dad "Papa" instead of Daddy, and we horrified him as we ran around him in a circle chanting, "Papa!  Papa!  Papa!"  We then drove to my aunt's/uncle's/cousin's apartment building where we stayed in my (now deceased, *tear*) grandmother's apartment.  I got a room to myself and just got comfortable.  We (aunt/papa/sis/me) walked down the street and bought some of these egg, philo dough thingies.  I can't really describe them.  Then we went back and ate them with the family.  I showered and changed my clothes and we left to go run some errands (Side note:  Though Taiwan smells like crap, I really loved it...it was such a blast from the past!  Deja vu central!).

  
  

  We first went to the supermarket and bought lots of random stuff.  I bought candy and Chinese shampoo...I LOVE CHINESE SHAMPOOS!  It's called "Lux" and Liv Tyler is the spokes model.  She's on the box that holds my precious Chinese shampoo.  My precious...Do you realize how different some of our everyday products are in Taiwan?  In Taiwan (and I'm sure in other parts of the world except the U.S.) there is a mint and a lemon Head and Shoulders, there is lemon-flavored Extra chewing gum, and the Yoplait yogurt has jello in it instead of fruit!  Freaky! 

  
  

  After that, we went to the morning open market which is just these tables all set up with lots of different random things being sold on it.  Everything from chicken and clams, to VCDs and hair clips.  It was awesome, yet oh-so filthy (I mean that in the literal germ-infested, puddles of brackish water, smells of feces, sort of sense).  So dirty...so dirty...and...so cold...

  
  

  Hey!  The woman on the news is wearing a Burberry scarf!  I must have it!  (Side note:  there is SOOOOOOO much fake Burberry stuff in Taiwan I almost wanted to vomit.  I didn't buy anything b/c I'm an authentic-chic kinda gal.  Kill me!  Just kill me!  End it NOW!)

  
  

  At the open market we bought fruits, and stuff.  Then we bought some flowers for my grandmother's memorial site.  Then we went back to the apartment to rest and do HW...

  
  

  At this time, I would like to inform you that my aunt on my dad's side is a VERY powerful woman in Taiwan.  She's been on the cover of numerous business magazines and her family (meaning her, her husband, and her children) are VERY wealthy.  When converting all that they are worth into U.S. dollars, they are MILLIONAIRES!  KILL ME!  JUST DO IT!!!..."Do it..."

  
  

  After we rested at the apartment, my aunts CHAUFFER (sp?) picked us up in the MERCEDES!  MERCEDES!  My aunts company loves her soooo much that they gave her a private chauffer and car...I hate it...**jealousy**

  
  

  We then went to my grandmother’s and grandfather's memorial which is high in the mountain.  It is a marble platform, that's maybe, 10ft x 10ft.  Off into the distance I could see these awesome shrines, and this huge gold statue.  It was magnificent, really.  But at the memorial…it was a really sad moment.  I realized when I saw my grandfather and my grandmother's pics on their memorial that my father was an orphan.  It made me cry really hard.  He then tells me and my sis to stand in front of the memorial and look at their pictures.  He tells us to thank them for taking such good care of him (my papa) b/c if they didn't, we (me and my sis) wouldn't be here right now.  He then says it was b/c they took such good care of him that he takes such good care of us...(oh...I'm crying right now just thinking about it...my poor daddy).  Then the driver picked us up from the memorial and we go shopping. 

  
  

  I was desperately looking for adobe photoshop7 b/c that’s what I need for my ITP project in the future.  So we go to this one mall that only sells comp related stuff (nerd central, seriously!  Or as Tiff would say it, “For serious!”)  It is super expensive (both there and in the U.S…around $600 U.S.!!!)  So my daddy, who is clever and sneaky, goes outside to this one table.  We see all these binders of pictures of software packages and stuff and the guy whose peddling it looks rather shifty.  That’s b/c he’s selling software copies illegally!  But my dad ends up buying Adobe PS6 instead of 7 b/c it comes in this monster package of neat-o software!  It was like $25 U.S. Not bad!

  
  

  After that we go back to the apartment and I fall asleep.  Later on that night, we go to night market, where one large street is barred off so that people can peddle their wares there.  I look for VCDs (LOTR TT was not found!) and stuff and end up only buying this chicken sandwich that was ok.

  
  

  I then study and sleep.

  
  

  The next morning I go to morning open market again with my dad and I tell him to buy some clams.  Which he does.  After that we walk into a different part of the open market and what do I see?  Crates and crates of chickens.  Now, the sad part about that is that these chickens are going to be slaughtered soon.  They are going to be killed and sold.  And they are none-the-wiser…oooh, what a terrible fate to befall my clucky friend! 

  
  

  After that, there is more sleep and study and then we go to the memorial service at the church my granny liked to go to.  It was around 2 hours and really sad.  I cried the most when I looked over at my father and saw him crying…you NEVER want to see your daddy cry…We (the whole family that was there) then lined ourselves outside the door to say goodbye to those who came to the service.  No one knew who we were so I wasn’t really into the whole shake hands goodbye thing. 

  
  

  After that we walked home and then changed…we were going to go shopping at what I think is Taipei’s Times Square…it just this HUGE area full of shops and kiosks and you walk around on the street, get something to eat from a cart, and shop to your hearts content…It was pretty nice, but I only bought sunglasses that night (which, btw, where almost impossible to find!) 

  
  

  Dinner at aunts house.  Really good food.  My dad cooked the clams.  Soooo good….

  
  

  The next morning (Sunday), papa, sis, and I go onto the train to go to my Mom’s side of the family in (and I don’t know how to spell it but I can pronounce it so I’ll just make a blind stab at it…) Taigong (eh, looks totally wrong, probably is…).  It was a 2 hour ride and it was boring as hell and I felt like I was dying of boredom and fatigue.  When we get there, we take a cab to my grandmother’s house, and my god she was so glad to see us.  She grabbed my hand and kept on saying how tall I was and how pretty I had become (which I’m sure she just says b/c she’s my grandmother and thinks her grandchildren are beautiful no matter what, btw, I hadn’t been to Taiwan in 7 years, so when you read my journal, realize that I’m experiencing major culture shock and feeling awkward).  I then see one of my uncles and his girlfriend who don’t make any attempt at greeting me (which is normal, my uncle doesn’t even greet his own son!).  My grandmother was so happy.  She did the normal grandmother thing and tried desperately to force-feed me and my sister candy.  And then she suspiciously walks into another room.  My sister follows.  Granny comes back with four of those red envelopes full o’ money.  My sister tries to get her to take them back but she goes to my dad and gives it to him.  He refuses also and tells her to take it back…My grandmother, being spunky as she is, refuses and says, “I want you to have it!  Take it!”  And then she just walks away.  Gotta love her.

  
  

  My aunt comes, who is also hilarious, and then she takes me and my sis to this cool store.  It is kinda like a Longs but better, meaning it has a lot of different things, but the quality is always pretty good, unlike Longs (and when I say Longs, I’m referring to the ones in Hawaii) which can have some pretty shifty little trinkets.  My sis and I stock up on little things, stationary, and jewelry and then we go. 

  
  

  Then we go to a hotel to have lunch.  The cool thing about the hotel was, that there were these handmade wood dolls there that are really special.  This one dude carves all of these dolls and then he makes this TV show with them.  And please don’t think these dolls are like…Kerokeropi or…Power Rangers or something stupid like that, they are traditional dolls that look a lot like Kabuki dolls.  They were just magnificent!  The workmanship was amazing!  So beautiful!  My sister and I run around the lobby posing like them, I’m sure to the horror of all of the hotel workers. 

  
  

  At dinner, I get the shock of my life.  My low-life turd of a little cousin comes to join us for lunch (when I say little, I mean around 15).  And let me tell you this:  he was terrible as a child and he’s still terrible today.  All he did was complain about how he hurt his hand when he fell from his bike, and how slow the food came out, and this and that.  I sat right next to him…he was within stabbing distance…the forks were quite sharp…blood…And to top it all off, he swore A LOT.  In both Chinese and English.  But all he said in English was f--- and stuff, but he said it in front of his mother, his uncles, me, my sis, daddy, AND MY GRANDMOTHER!  MY INNOCENT, INNOCENT GRANDMOTHER!  Everyone at the table, other than me, my sis, and my aunt who kept on chastising her devil-child, had these fake, “I’m glad he’s not my child” smiles on their faces, but you could tell that underneath they were disappointed and a little offended.  No matter what my aunt did, he just kept on swearing and threatening the hotel and its workers.  I feel so sorry for my aunt…her son takes after his father…But no matter.  He will go into the army in 3 years (which is mandatory for all Taiwan boys) and he will either learn to fly straight or he will die there.  Either option would be a vast improvement from what he is now.

  
  

  That reminds me…my other cousin on my Dad’s side is in the army right how (he’s around 24) and he had this really funny story:  You know those British guards who just have to stand in attention like all day and not move and protect the palace?  Well my cousin had to do that in Taiwan and the funny thing is, HE FELL ASLEEP!  He fell asleep standing there!  Sleeping at that job is dangerous b/c someone could have just walked past him and attacked the president’s office.  His punishment:  He couldn’t go home for the weekend.

  
  

  After that we go back to my granny’s house and we just hang out.  When it’s time to leave, it’s really sad b/c I could tell my grandmother was really sad as she stood at the curb waving goodbye to us.  I already promised to go back during summer, and I plan to keep that promise.

  
  

  Back at Taipei, we go out to dinner and eat another delicious Chinese meal at another fancy-ish restaurant…I ate heartily.  After that we go back to that really nice shopping district (the Times Square-esque one) and I buy presents for my friends.  Note to them:  I tried really hard to get what ya’ll asked for and I got one thing you each wanted…except for BRIAN b/c HE NEVER TOLD ME WHAT HE WANTED (excluding the LOTR TT VCD but I couldn’t find it so it doesn’t count)…but I got him something which will also double as his B-day present.  Mwahahaha, two birds with one stone, my friends, two birds…I bought this awesome Eskimo-esque black coat which looks a lot like Avril Lavigne’s coat in the I’m With You video (which is the only reason why I bought it)…And it’s a good thing I bought it too, b/c the next day was cold and windy!  But my Avril coat protected me!  My coat says:  “I’m with you!”  I say:  Thanks a lot, faux fur-lined coat!

  
  

  Monday:  I packed my bags to get ready to go.  I realized at that point that I had bought quite a bit of stuff and so I stuffed food into a big bag and brought it with me as a carry on.  We didn’t really do anything…we (me, sis, aunt) went to a bakery (btw:  Taiwan has THE BEST bakeries!  My sister and I, as kids, were notorious for buying lots and lots of pretty cakes from the bakery only to eat none of them…if we ate them, we wouldn’t be able to admire their baked-beauty!).  I bought Taiwan bread, and I brought it back…yes…delish….  Then we (me, sis, papa) tried to find some bookstores so my sis could buy some manga, but none of them were open b/c it was only like 9 am.  We ate lunch at my aunt’s apartment and once again I ate a lot.  After that we left for the airport.  We waited there for about 2 hours with my aunt and I read a little.

  
  

  Once we left her (which was kinda sad…the whole looking back and waving thing hurts me), my sister went to the duty free shops and perused.  My heart told me to spend money on makeup!  Lancome!  Estee Lauder!  Chanel!  AAAAH!  But we bought cigarettes instead.  Note:  I DON’T smoke, but we bought cigarettes to give away as presents.  Which is basically giving away death, but I don’t care.  My sister’s friend said that Davidoff cigarettes were really good so we bought them, AS GIFTS FOR OTHERS.  10 pks = $14 U.S.  Even I must say that that’s an awesome deal for really nice cigarettes…no, I DON’T SMOKE!  Leave me alone!  I don’t have to answer to your wild allegations! 

  
  

  We got on the plane and I was once again near the bathroom.  But this time I took window seat so I couldn’t really smell any of the terrible bathroom smells.  The flight was about 11 hours and it was cramped in there.  Also, this lady in the row next to mine had a staring problem or something b/c I caught her staring at me and my sis quite a bit.  I just stared right back…she learned her lesson fast!  We landed safely but hit some turbulence sometime around hour 4 which scared my sis a bit b/c China airlines has a very bad track record…quite a few crashes…but I wasn’t really scared.  I was too busy trying not to vomit in shame!

  
  

  And now I’m here.  Xanga-ing my troubles away.  I have to read for…what’s it called?...oh yeah, ITP.  But first I’m going to shower.  To my friend, Eva Constantaras:  Hope you enjoyed my Xanga!  Check back soon for more cool info about your coolest friend and Asian twin…and coupons!  COUPONS!  (Disclaimer:  Site may not really contain coupons or cool info of any sort).

  
  

  Sorry about the length.  It’s four jam-packed days of stuff compressed into…I don’t know…like 5 pages (seriously, check it in Word!)…of space.  I don’t expect anyone to read the whole thing word-for-word, in fact, I don’t expect anyone to read it at all!  Mwa haahahaha.  My Xanga is still mine…and only mine…my precious…“Do it…”

  
  

  kickasskukla (4:14:12 PM): Hi, are you back from Taiwan?

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:14:14 PM): no

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:14:18 PM): actually yes

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:14:19 PM): i lied

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:14:22 PM): b/c i love lying!

  
  

  kickasskukla (4:14:25 PM): I figured

  
  

  kickasskukla (4:14:30 PM): How did it go?

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:14:33 PM): not bad

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:14:45 PM): you can read my xanga later on

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:14:48 PM): i'm doing it right now

  
  

  kickasskukla (4:14:52 PM): your what?

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:14:55 PM): xanga

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:15:02 PM): it's like my web journal

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:15:07 PM): i write in it almost everyday

  
  

  kickasskukla (4:15:12 PM): oh, I didn't know you had one

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:15:36 PM): yes

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:15:37 PM): i do

  
  

  kickasskukla (4:15:44 PM): You never tell me anything

  
  

  kickasskukla (4:19:35 PM): Well, now I don't get to bombard you with questions since you are writing it in your journal thingy

  
  

  kickasskukla (4:20:26 PM): It's ruining our interogatator interogatee dynamic that we have going on

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:20:45 PM): HA

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:20:52 PM): that's the way i want it!

  
  

  kickasskukla (4:21:07 PM): fine, then what are we talking about?

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:21:14 PM): soft breads

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:21:17 PM): i like soft breads

  
  

  kickasskukla (4:21:25 PM): ok, I like crusty breads

  
  

  kickasskukla (4:21:43 PM): wierdo

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:21:47 PM): you're the weirdo!

  
  

  watermelonwish (4:21:51 PM): and learn to spell!

  
  

   

  • 8:54 pm
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