February 27, 2003
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The sensual brown turd…so sensual…take me you amorous turd-y beast! So yeah, today I went to class…math seemed to drag on…and on…suicide is the only way out…just end it all…and then class ends. After that I walked home because I realized that I forgot all of my pencil case AGAIN! I had to a pen from Mai. I was planning on studying more for my Econ Midterm, but instead I watched Maury and ate yogurt. It was blueberry. I have boycotted strawberry yogurt b/c if I ate it, it would be like eating family yogurt. B/c I’m a strawberry. With Tiffanie. We stay friends forever.
Mythology was boring as usual. End of story.
My econ midterm wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t good. I hated myself at the end of it. I kept on marking the same answer over and over again…here is a model of my scantron…A, D, C, B, C, C, C, C, A, C, B, D, D, A, A, B, D, D, A, C, C, C, D, B, B, B. Now multiply this pattern by two and you get my 50-question econ exam scantron. It’s pretty sad. So repetitive…you know when you get 4 Cs in a row that one of them has got to be wrong! How can “scarcity” be the answer to like 15 questions? I seriously put it as the answer for like 1/3 of my exam! Damn you Micro Econ! And damn you Adam Smith! The man who started it all…hate you…hate you…hate you…
After that I came home and I was going to study for my math quiz, but I chatted with Tiffanie and my friend Eva instead. Tiffanie and I had quite a conversation…we’ve pretty much decided to become mass murderers the moment we become wrinkly (meaning old) enough…we’re also going to harvest human body parts and hair (mainly from the youth) and fuse them to our own body so that we stay youthful and beautiful forever! Blonde today…red-head tomorrow…black hair the rest of the week! We’ll chase down these kids on our hovercrafts/hover-bikes (w/jetpacks for extra propulsion!), and then Tiff will trip them with her cane, we’ll beat them into submission with our heavy, old woman’s purses, and then I’ll capture them under my metal walker. LET THE HARVESTING BEGIN! LEFT ARM #954385, COME HERE NOW!
I went to my first CASA meeting today. It was freezing cold so naturally my hand was an icicle as I shook all of the officers’ hands. The funny thing is…right now the pinky of my right hand is REALLY cold, but the rest of my hand is relatively warm. I hope it doesn’t fall off! That would be terrible! I need my pinky! How will I pick my nose without it?
After CASA we ate at Parkside with Dave, this other guy, and this gal I’ve never seen before (yes, I know my descriptions are vague…I can’t bring myself to find descriptive names for them like “pant-leg up/pant-leg down dude” or “what’s-his-face,” I’m only human you know, I can’t be switched on all the time…I JUST CAN’T! **Loretta goes to huddle in a corner; she convulses and shivers; vomit that reeks of shame shoots from her mouth…”s-s-soooo ashaaaaamed-d…”**)
Oh yes, I remember now. Tiffanie showed me her newest incarnation of the flat-handed air-caress thing she does to all those she admires and adores. It’s the flat-handed air-caress with burrowing. While rubbing at the air, she physically burrows into your body, to rub herself in your essence. I don’t exactly know what happens when she burrows into you, I’ve never seen it first hand, but I’m pretty sure the victim loses quite a bit of blood.
YAY! Tiffanie and I might have a place to live! It’s off-campus so there will probably be quite a bit of walking happening next year (and possibly all the years after that) but that’s ok! At least we don’t have to live in Leavey Library!
Well…It’s time for Law and Order so I will be mosey’n over to my TV and then crashing in front of it in order to become the ULTIMATE TV ZOMBIE! I think I suffer from Couch-Potato-itis or Lazy-Big-Fat-Blob disease, or something, b/c I just can’t stop being lazy! In fact, I’m so lazy that if I had Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, I still would avoid all unnecessary movements. But I’ll keep my girlish figure by constantly vomiting in vanity (with a hint of shame). Gotta stay thin! Gotta stay thin! Gotta stay thin! Ahh, yes. This IS the life, isn’t it?
--lor--
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