I don't exactly feel like putting an entry down today, because I'm feeling nice n' lazy (what's new?). So instead I'm going to put this AIM conversation Tiff and I had a few days ago. It is an animated dilogue, and we cover such topics as food, the consumption of food, and the "disposal" of food. We also touch upon the controversial ideas of sex wushu, and crimes committed against the youth for hair. Finally, we conclude the conversation with an animated discussion of what I am going to eat that night...my wrist? My left boob? Or perhaps I go a bit further into the depths of dementia and eat some hungry, hungry hobo who is none the wiser of his impending doom...
"Wonderful! Thrilling!" --The New York Times
"Amazing! A true masterpiece done in AIM" --The Chicago Tribune
"So heinous, it's chilling!" --The Los Angeles Times
"A great 'coming of age' tale. I made my daughter read the part about sex wushu to avoid having to talk to her about her...uhh...impending blooming." --A Very Satisfied, and Rather Lazy, Mother
spiffytiffi912 (3:33:16 PM): where should we eat?
watermelonwish (3:33:18 PM): hmm
watermelonwish (3:33:20 PM): well
watermelonwish (3:33:30 PM): we could eat at parkside
watermelonwish (3:33:34 PM): that way daniel will come
watermelonwish (3:33:40 PM): so we can continue the weds tradition
watermelonwish (3:33:43 PM): or anywhere else
watermelonwish (3:33:46 PM): i just need nourishment
spiffytiffi912 (3:34:09 PM): hehehe yah, me too! kay, parkside it tis
watermelonwish (3:34:16 PM): ok
watermelonwish (3:34:18 PM): sounds good
watermelonwish (3:34:19 PM): mwa ha
watermelonwish (3:34:20 PM): food
watermelonwish (3:34:22 PM): excellente
spiffytiffi912 (3:34:28 PM): hahahahaha evil laughter for food....scary.....
spiffytiffi912 (3:34:33 PM): the food cowers before you
watermelonwish (3:34:59 PM): it should
watermelonwish (3:35:14 PM): it will soon be consumed by me
watermelonwish (3:35:17 PM): and then digested
spiffytiffi912 (3:35:21 PM): the ruler of food.....LoReTtA! haha you eAT your subjects?!!!
watermelonwish (3:35:29 PM): and then expelled from me in the form of a brown tablet
watermelonwish (3:35:31 PM): mwa hahaha
watermelonwish (3:35:33 PM): yes i do
watermelonwish (3:35:36 PM): bow to me!
spiffytiffi912 (3:36:01 PM): HHAHAAHA Expel a brown tablet?!!! omg u make it sound...almost.....*sensual...
spiffytiffi912 (3:36:02 PM): hahahahahaha
watermelonwish (3:36:39 PM): i hate it yet i cannot help but...love--it...
watermelonwish (3:36:51 PM): i want to turn away...and touch it at the same time....
spiffytiffi912 (3:37:06 PM): hahahaha i hate it.....it...repels me yet...i love it
spiffytiffi912 (3:37:18 PM): hahaha our preferrences are JACKED UP
watermelonwish (3:37:32 PM): totally...
watermelonwish (3:37:46 PM): but that's what makes us "special!"
spiffytiffi912 (3:38:12 PM): hahahaha YES, ADD those quotation marks! they're our saving grace
watermelonwish (3:38:20 PM): yes
watermelonwish (3:38:22 PM): without it
watermelonwish (3:38:28 PM): we're DOOMED
spiffytiffi912 (3:38:51 PM): haha i was going to say, we have a possibility of actually BEING special, but hey, that works too!
watermelonwish (3:39:20 PM): but we aren't special
spiffytiffi912 (3:39:26 PM): .......that is true
spiffytiffi912 (3:39:31 PM): hahah my head drooped
spiffytiffi912 (3:39:35 PM): lowered in shame
watermelonwish (3:39:39 PM): i've already learned to live with my mental/physical/emotional disabilities
watermelonwish (3:39:43 PM): is the vomit coming?
watermelonwish (3:39:50 PM): i vomit in shame all the time
spiffytiffi912 (3:39:58 PM): no, i haven't eaten enought to vomit today. hahaha i kno, i kno
spiffytiffi912 (3:40:03 PM): you vomit to many things
watermelonwish (3:40:06 PM): yes
watermelonwish (3:40:21 PM): even though i may be vomiting in disgust/anger/sadness...
watermelonwish (3:40:29 PM): there is always a little tidbit of shame
watermelonwish (3:40:33 PM): a gentle undercurrent of shame
spiffytiffi912 (3:40:41 PM): hahahaha always gotta have the shame
watermelonwish (3:40:46 PM): it makes my daily vomit much more...spicy...
watermelonwish (3:40:50 PM): ALWAYS
watermelonwish (3:40:56 PM): thats the key...the shame...without it
watermelonwish (3:41:00 PM): it's just regurgitation!
spiffytiffi912 (3:41:36 PM): Hahahaha! more spicy?! It can mean more exciting...and also....it describes your stomach acids beautifully
watermelonwish (3:41:52 PM): it was the stomach acids
watermelonwish (3:42:00 PM): shame adds lots and lots more flavor
spiffytiffi912 (3:42:12 PM): hahhaha omg this is going up on xanga
spiffytiffi912 (3:42:20 PM): so wrong and yet...i love it....
watermelonwish (3:42:20 PM): mwa ha
spiffytiffi912 (3:42:24 PM): hahahahahahahaha
watermelonwish (3:42:28 PM): i hate it...yet i cannot help but touch it....
watermelonwish (3:42:34 PM): caress it...
watermelonwish (3:42:42 PM): love it...
spiffytiffi912 (3:42:47 PM): HAHAHAHA
spiffytiffi912 (3:42:49 PM): exactly
watermelonwish (3:42:49 PM): i wish it would love me too....
watermelonwish (3:42:51 PM): LOVE ME!
spiffytiffi912 (3:42:54 PM): one day, one day
spiffytiffi912 (3:42:58 PM): with enough stalking and molesting
spiffytiffi912 (3:43:01 PM): one day...
watermelonwish (3:43:15 PM): ok
watermelonwish (3:43:23 PM): your words of wisdom comfort me sensei lam
watermelonwish (3:43:32 PM): i am as patient as the gorilla
spiffytiffi912 (3:43:36 PM): hahahahahhaa!!
watermelonwish (3:43:43 PM): as silent as the most dangerous of farts
spiffytiffi912 (3:43:49 PM): and as vomit enduced as a supermodel
spiffytiffi912 (3:43:54 PM): hahahhaha
watermelonwish (3:44:10 PM): mwahahaha
watermelonwish (3:44:16 PM): gotta stay thin....gotta stay thin...
spiffytiffi912 (3:44:27 PM): hahahahah u should put that in your profile! I feel the fat growing in me!!!!
watermelonwish (3:46:02 PM): i do feel it
watermelonwish (3:46:04 PM): i do...
watermelonwish (3:46:07 PM): help me tiffanie...
spiffytiffi912 (3:46:26 PM): hahaha i must...sicken you for you to vomit some more...BUT HOW?!
watermelonwish (3:46:29 PM): i'm swimming if fat....
watermelonwish (3:46:33 PM): in fat...
spiffytiffi912 (3:46:34 PM): ewwwwww
watermelonwish (3:46:36 PM): GURGLE
watermelonwish (3:46:37 PM): GURGLE
spiffytiffi912 (3:46:44 PM): fat = lard = ickyness...
spiffytiffi912 (3:46:46 PM): ahahahha
watermelonwish (3:46:46 PM): it's in every orafice!
watermelonwish (3:46:55 PM): fat = lard= ickyness= loretta's bum
spiffytiffi912 (3:47:01 PM): AHHHHHH!! OH NO!!
spiffytiffi912 (3:47:07 PM): I kno the answer! WUSHU!!!
spiffytiffi912 (3:47:11 PM): Do it........
spiffytiffi912 (3:47:15 PM): everybody's doing it......
spiffytiffi912 (3:47:18 PM): u kno u want to......
watermelonwish (3:47:32 PM): do it...
watermelonwish (3:47:35 PM): i'm still considering it
watermelonwish (3:47:36 PM): oh yeah
watermelonwish (3:47:43 PM): you know what i think is the COOLEST?
spiffytiffi912 (3:47:47 PM): what?
watermelonwish (3:47:47 PM): not the swords/weapons...
watermelonwish (3:47:50 PM): this thing you guys do
watermelonwish (3:47:54 PM): when you do this spinning thing
watermelonwish (3:47:57 PM): i was mezmorized
spiffytiffi912 (3:48:02 PM): hahaha oh that? it's so fun to do
watermelonwish (3:48:04 PM): it's one of your exercises
watermelonwish (3:48:06 PM): teach me!
spiffytiffi912 (3:48:08 PM): yah, sure!
watermelonwish (3:48:09 PM): forget the sword!
spiffytiffi912 (3:48:11 PM): hahahahaha
watermelonwish (3:48:11 PM): i want to spin!
spiffytiffi912 (3:48:16 PM): spinning is awesome
spiffytiffi912 (3:48:26 PM): but if u spin too fast, the blood rushes to your hands
spiffytiffi912 (3:48:35 PM): and it feels weird....kinda...tingly and heavy
spiffytiffi912 (3:48:39 PM): hahah it's cool
watermelonwish (3:48:57 PM): tingly...
watermelonwish (3:49:05 PM): sensual tingly or pins and needles tingly?
spiffytiffi912 (3:49:47 PM): more of a pins and needles cuz it goes too fast to be sensual...
spiffytiffi912 (3:49:51 PM): hahahaha
watermelonwish (3:49:53 PM): awww
watermelonwish (3:50:00 PM): i was hoping for a sensual type tingly
spiffytiffi912 (3:50:06 PM): you could MAKE it sensual
watermelonwish (3:50:11 PM): spin...
watermelonwish (3:50:14 PM): with a vibrator?
spiffytiffi912 (3:50:24 PM): hahaha: when you spin "OH YES! OH YES!"
spiffytiffi912 (3:50:32 PM): if...you...want....*shifty eyes*
spiffytiffi912 (3:50:40 PM): kinda make it hard for you to move around tho, don't u think
spiffytiffi912 (3:50:43 PM): hahaha
watermelonwish (3:50:46 PM): hmm
watermelonwish (3:50:55 PM): what if it's a REALLY SMALL vibrator?
watermelonwish (3:51:02 PM): or maybe i could put lubricant on my palms?
watermelonwish (3:51:04 PM): is that better?
spiffytiffi912 (3:51:30 PM): hahaha a small vibrator might work for you. lubricant will make holding stuff difficult. you swing sword, u kill bystander
watermelonwish (3:53:26 PM): hmm
watermelonwish (3:53:31 PM): kill bystander you say...
watermelonwish (3:53:41 PM): thats very...intriguing...
spiffytiffi912 (3:54:26 PM): hahahahaha yes, and also very costly
spiffytiffi912 (3:54:31 PM): legal bills and u kno, soul
spiffytiffi912 (3:54:32 PM): hahahaha
watermelonwish (3:54:50 PM): hmm
watermelonwish (3:54:51 PM): soul...
watermelonwish (3:54:57 PM): legal bills...
watermelonwish (3:55:02 PM): a very convincing argument...
spiffytiffi912 (3:55:14 PM): hahahah the legal bills did u in, huh
spiffytiffi912 (3:55:25 PM): "soul, meh, but CASH?! dear god...i can't afford that!"
watermelonwish (3:55:41 PM): exactly...
watermelonwish (3:55:49 PM): but killing bystanders, tiffanie!
watermelonwish (3:55:55 PM): think of the possibilities!
spiffytiffi912 (3:56:21 PM): hahah do it when you're old, when you're going to die anyways!! when you're young, u deny yourself all the cool stuff you COULD do later on, but when you're old, there's no more later on, there's only NOW
spiffytiffi912 (3:56:25 PM): that's what i'm planning
spiffytiffi912 (3:56:32 PM): when i'm old, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE
spiffytiffi912 (3:56:34 PM): i can't wait
watermelonwish (3:57:15 PM): mwa hahahah
spiffytiffi912 (3:57:31 PM): hahahaha
spiffytiffi912 (3:57:42 PM): you and me, we can wreak havoc when we're wrinkly
watermelonwish (3:57:45 PM): we'd be these old grannies
spiffytiffi912 (3:57:49 PM): stupid youth....
watermelonwish (3:57:54 PM): using our cane to inflict pain
watermelonwish (3:57:59 PM): ooh
spiffytiffi912 (3:58:00 PM): YES! and purses!!
watermelonwish (3:58:04 PM): i'll get one of those metal walkers!
watermelonwish (3:58:09 PM): that would REALLY hurt!
spiffytiffi912 (3:58:15 PM): YEAH!! It'd be like the cage of DEATH
spiffytiffi912 (3:58:21 PM): Electric wheelchair!!!
spiffytiffi912 (3:58:26 PM): run those little bastards over
watermelonwish (3:58:31 PM): hahah!
watermelonwish (3:58:40 PM): they'd have to be pretty slow...
watermelonwish (3:58:47 PM): but wait...JETPACKS!
spiffytiffi912 (3:59:50 PM): YES! by then we should have them! Oh oh!! and HOVERCRAFTS/HOVERBIKES/HOVERCARS!!!
watermelonwish (4:00:02 PM): ooooh
watermelonwish (4:00:05 PM): hovercrafts...
watermelonwish (4:00:10 PM): anything that hovers...
watermelonwish (4:00:14 PM): CAN SMASH THINGS!
watermelonwish (4:00:30 PM): they'll be human jams and jellies under our hover-miracles!
spiffytiffi912 (4:00:49 PM): YES!!! and we shall reign supreme!!! justice got nuthin on us!!
watermelonwish (4:00:54 PM): hahaha
watermelonwish (4:00:56 PM): but then we'll die
watermelonwish (4:01:00 PM): we'll be so old
watermelonwish (4:01:14 PM): OUR HEARTS, TIFFANIE! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT OUR WEAK HEARTS?!!!!
spiffytiffi912 (4:01:43 PM): .........Artificial hearts! or in times of desperate need, we kidnapp some youth and take their heart
watermelonwish (4:01:51 PM): yes
watermelonwish (4:02:02 PM): the answer to all of lifes problems lies in the youth
watermelonwish (4:02:11 PM): we'll simply suck the life outta them
watermelonwish (4:02:23 PM): they don't have a chance against us in granny-form!
spiffytiffi912 (4:02:24 PM): exactly. we can steal their youth, their eyes, lungs, livers, kidneys, hearts...
spiffytiffi912 (4:02:29 PM): hahaha! they're like a buffet!
watermelonwish (4:02:29 PM): mwa ha
watermelonwish (4:02:32 PM): and their hair!
spiffytiffi912 (4:02:34 PM): YES!
watermelonwish (4:02:36 PM): we'll need hair!
spiffytiffi912 (4:02:39 PM): their lucious hair!!
watermelonwish (4:02:50 PM): mwa
watermelonwish (4:03:06 PM): that way i can be a dumb blonde on one day
watermelonwish (4:03:14 PM): and a clever brunette another
spiffytiffi912 (4:03:18 PM): ahahahahah
watermelonwish (4:03:20 PM): depends on my outfit
spiffytiffi912 (4:03:34 PM): we have kids shivering in a small room in our house
watermelonwish (4:03:41 PM): growing out their hair
spiffytiffi912 (4:03:49 PM): some bald, some w/out internal organs.. hahahah it's our FARM
watermelonwish (4:03:58 PM): human farm
watermelonwish (4:04:01 PM): mwa ha
spiffytiffi912 (4:04:04 PM): ahahahah
watermelonwish (4:04:06 PM): if anyone tries to stop us...
watermelonwish (4:04:15 PM): they'll just be sucked into the farm!
watermelonwish (4:04:17 PM): never to return!
spiffytiffi912 (4:04:25 PM): use cattle prodes even tho they're scared into submission just for the hell of it! HAHAHAHAH YES! that should be our threat
spiffytiffi912 (4:04:34 PM): Don't FUCK with me or it's TO THE FARM WITH YOU!!!
watermelonwish (4:04:50 PM): mwa hahaha
watermelonwish (4:04:54 PM): we brand them...
watermelonwish (4:04:58 PM): by body parts...
watermelonwish (4:05:09 PM): we brand what we want to "harvest" from them
spiffytiffi912 (4:05:13 PM): hahahahahaha
watermelonwish (4:05:15 PM): "EYES"
watermelonwish (4:05:18 PM): "RIGHT LEG"
spiffytiffi912 (4:05:35 PM): and that will be their NAME. "RIght leg # 235, you come here now!"
watermelonwish (4:05:54 PM): and the one thing we always require...
watermelonwish (4:06:09 PM): ALWAYS take good care of OUR (future) body part
watermelonwish (4:06:18 PM): the rest of them can go to hell
spiffytiffi912 (4:06:25 PM): hahahahaha YES
spiffytiffi912 (4:06:28 PM): exactly
spiffytiffi912 (4:06:41 PM): ahaha we're so evil....yet...so genius...
watermelonwish (4:06:51 PM): so genius...great minds, great minds...
spiffytiffi912 (4:07:00 PM): hahaha
watermelonwish (4:07:59 PM): so hungry
watermelonwish (4:08:14 PM): starting to gnaw on my wrist
watermelonwish (4:08:16 PM): juicy
spiffytiffi912 (4:08:37 PM): noo!!! you'll need that for later!
spiffytiffi912 (4:08:40 PM): curb yourself!!
spiffytiffi912 (4:08:44 PM): cuuurrrbbb!
watermelonwish (4:08:44 PM): ok...
watermelonwish (4:08:48 PM): i dont need....
watermelonwish (4:08:51 PM): my left hand!
watermelonwish (4:08:54 PM): it's useless to me!
watermelonwish (4:08:59 PM): drool
spiffytiffi912 (4:09:01 PM): nono! need it to SPIN!!!
watermelonwish (4:09:04 PM): ahhh
watermelonwish (4:09:04 PM): ok
watermelonwish (4:09:13 PM): i only need one breast to breast feed my child
watermelonwish (4:09:16 PM): ok left one
watermelonwish (4:09:18 PM): YOU'RE GONE!
spiffytiffi912 (4:09:27 PM): hahahaha youll be all uneven tho!!
spiffytiffi912 (4:09:34 PM): go eat some random person on the streeeet!
watermelonwish (4:09:37 PM): ahhh
watermelonwish (4:09:43 PM): i'll have to bathe them
watermelonwish (4:09:46 PM): we got hobos around here
watermelonwish (4:09:53 PM): they're probably weak from hunger
watermelonwish (4:09:57 PM): so they'll go down fast
spiffytiffi912 (4:10:18 PM): hahahaha i can see u stalking one....THEN POUNCING...dragging its carcass behind you
watermelonwish (4:10:23 PM): ahaha
watermelonwish (4:10:24 PM): it
watermelonwish (4:10:37 PM): 's trash bag/cart slides behind it
spiffytiffi912 (4:10:46 PM): hahha a small trail of blood
watermelonwish (4:10:58 PM): ahahaha
watermelonwish (4:11:04 PM): and then they'll be bathed
watermelonwish (4:11:05 PM): boiled
watermelonwish (4:11:07 PM): roasted
watermelonwish (4:11:09 PM): and then consumed
spiffytiffi912 (4:11:12 PM): mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
watermelonwish (4:11:15 PM): and then expelled
spiffytiffi912 (4:11:15 PM): human flesh.....
watermelonwish (4:11:19 PM): in that brown package again
watermelonwish (4:11:24 PM): my sensual brown friend
spiffytiffi912 (4:11:25 PM): hahah the sensual pellets
spiffytiffi912 (4:11:27 PM): hahahaha!
watermelonwish (4:11:30 PM): yeah!
watermelonwish (4:11:36 PM): sensual pellets!
watermelonwish (4:11:38 PM): ahahaha
spiffytiffi912 (4:11:52 PM): Hhaahahahaha
Comments (2)
This conversation...it's so brilliant...it's almost....*sensual...
Damn girl
how long were you on the computer? That is a freakenly long conversation!!! Anyway ur currently number 1 sis! haha
Daniel
Comments are closed.