March 9, 2003
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Haha, just came back from the CASA Culture Show and I thought it was just great. The guest speaker, the guy who created the Panda Express fast food chain, was a wacko and he made me hug and, express my undying love to, Brian. I actually insulted Brian when I said, "I had to hug Brian!" but of course, in perfect Brian form, he said, "And I didn't want to hug Loretta because she's is a slut!" A slut? A SLUT? Yeah, I am, and YOU KNOW you wanted to hug me. B is my BITCH and Loretta is B's sLut. Yippee. We're pathetic.
The sphincter in my ass makes my ass tight. Squeeze...squeeze...ahhh....
Most of the culture show made me and Brian giggle. I don't exactly remember what it was, but some parts of it were just crazy. A mountain crashed into the floor, singing is not a gift bestowed upon all, and when you run in socks, you are bound to fall...and trip over a chair...much to the amusement of the two Asians in the front row! Mwa hahahahahaha.
The Lion Dance was one of the best parts of the whole show...so fun...I realize now that nothing makes me happier than a Lion Dance. I'm still picking slimy lettuce out of my bag. And the funniest thing was, one of the lions totally harassed Tiffanie. It blinked its long eyelashes in Tiffanie's face and suddenly I hear a loud, "gwaaa" and Tiff is clutching her eyes. Poor blind Tiffanie. I will send her a cute, delicious, bunny to ease her eye pain.
My absolute favorite part was the super duper cool WUSHU part. I love Wushu and everyone associated with Wushu. There was this "drunken form" thing that made every single person in the room smile. The funny thing was, he was drinking out of a MARTINELLI'S bottle...the same one in Tiff's apartment, perhaps? Oh boy, I hope it isn't...because if it is...he will become the next victim of the bottle's SHIFTY EYES! BEWARE!
Tiffanie rocked the house. Super girl! Show them how it's done! GO FIST!
I finally saw that rope thing that...twists and twirls and stuff. Broadsword dude did that and spear. It was awesome. I was really afraid that it would choke him, but greater was my fear that he would somehow lose control and kill me. After that, people will be saying, "She was such a promising student. But she was cut down in her prime by a runaway twirly rope neck swinging thing." And Brian will be saying, "who will be my slut now that my #1 slut is dead???!!!" So tragic, so very, very tragic. But my fear did not stop me from screaming "YEAH WUSHU! GO TIFFANIE!" Yes, that was me, you gotta problem with that?
Oh, I finally learned some names!
Broadsword dude: "Jason" (has piercings)
Pant-leg up/Pant-leg down dude: "Alfred" (got drunk off sparkling cider? straight sword)
And I met a new guy: Staff Dude. I don't remember his real name, but yeah, Staff Dude!
I hope Brian and I didn't scare Pant-leg up/Pant-leg down dude and Broadsword dude when we sort of stared at them and stalked them...right Brian? You damn Wushu stalker!
We were invited to the CASA after party by a few people, but it was a cast/crew party and considering the fact that Brian and I did nothing for the show except see it, so...Brian and I went home instead. When Brian and I are alone, tired, and have full bladders, we become weird (weirder then usual, that is). And then we talk about naked statues of children lying under trees, how an inverted fountain can easily be transformed into a toilet, and the all-powerful sphincter. Ass...so tight...
Well, it's time for me to take a shower, and go watch some TV!
Oh yeah, house-warming party at Tiff and my future apartment next semester! You're all invited! BYOB! And no puking within the house! Vomit rights are mine, and mine alone...so ashamed (vomit).
**--**Loretta (proud to be Chinese) Wang**--**
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