I don’t think of myself as a very suicidal person, but I will be, if TIFFANIE AND I DON’T GET THE HOUSING WE SO DEARLY NEED!  If I don’t get housing, I will vomit in a mixture of shame and sorrow…don’t make me do it!

I don’t exactly feel like putting an entry down today, because I’m feeling nice n’ lazy (what’s new?).  So instead I’m going to put this AIM conversation Tiff and I had a few days ago.  It is an animated dilogue, and we cover such topics as food, the consumption of food, and the “disposal” of food.  We also touch upon the controversial ideas of sex wushu, and crimes committed against the youth for hair.  Finally, we conclude the conversation with an animated discussion of what I am going to eat that night…my wrist?  My left boob?  Or perhaps I go a bit further into the depths of dementia and eat some hungry, hungry hobo who is none the wiser of his impending doom…

“Wonderful!  Thrilling!”  –The New York Times

“Amazing!  A true masterpiece done in AIM” –The Chicago Tribune

“So heinous, it’s chilling!”  –The Los Angeles Times

“A great ‘coming of age’ tale.  I made my daughter read the part about sex wushu to avoid having to talk to her about her…uhh…impending blooming.”  –A Very Satisfied, and Rather Lazy, Mother

spiffytiffi912 (3:33:16 PM): where should we eat?

watermelonwish (3:33:18 PM): hmm

watermelonwish (3:33:20 PM): well

watermelonwish (3:33:30 PM): we could eat at parkside

watermelonwish (3:33:34 PM): that way daniel will come

watermelonwish (3:33:40 PM): so we can continue the weds tradition

watermelonwish (3:33:43 PM): or anywhere else

watermelonwish (3:33:46 PM): i just need nourishment

spiffytiffi912 (3:34:09 PM): hehehe yah, me too! kay, parkside it tis

watermelonwish (3:34:16 PM): ok

watermelonwish (3:34:18 PM): sounds good

watermelonwish (3:34:19 PM): mwa ha

watermelonwish (3:34:20 PM): food

watermelonwish (3:34:22 PM): excellente

spiffytiffi912 (3:34:28 PM): hahahahaha evil laughter for food….scary…..

spiffytiffi912 (3:34:33 PM): the food cowers before you

watermelonwish (3:34:59 PM): it should

watermelonwish (3:35:14 PM): it will soon be consumed by me

watermelonwish (3:35:17 PM): and then digested

spiffytiffi912 (3:35:21 PM): the ruler of food…..LoReTtA! haha you eAT your subjects?!!!

watermelonwish (3:35:29 PM): and then expelled from me in the form of a brown tablet

watermelonwish (3:35:31 PM): mwa hahaha

watermelonwish (3:35:33 PM): yes i do

watermelonwish (3:35:36 PM): bow to me!

spiffytiffi912 (3:36:01 PM): HHAHAAHA Expel a brown tablet?!!! omg u make it sound…almost…..*sensual…

spiffytiffi912 (3:36:02 PM): hahahahahaha

watermelonwish (3:36:39 PM): i hate it yet i cannot help but…love–it…

watermelonwish (3:36:51 PM): i want to turn away…and touch it at the same time….

spiffytiffi912 (3:37:06 PM): hahahaha i hate it…..it…repels me yet…i love it

spiffytiffi912 (3:37:18 PM): hahaha our preferrences are JACKED UP

watermelonwish (3:37:32 PM): totally…

watermelonwish (3:37:46 PM): but that’s what makes us “special!”

spiffytiffi912 (3:38:12 PM): hahahaha YES, ADD those quotation marks! they’re our saving grace

watermelonwish (3:38:20 PM): yes

watermelonwish (3:38:22 PM): without it

watermelonwish (3:38:28 PM): we’re DOOMED

spiffytiffi912 (3:38:51 PM): haha i was going to say, we have a possibility of actually BEING special, but hey, that works too!

watermelonwish (3:39:20 PM): but we aren’t special

spiffytiffi912 (3:39:26 PM): …….that is true

spiffytiffi912 (3:39:31 PM): hahah my head drooped

spiffytiffi912 (3:39:35 PM): lowered in shame

watermelonwish (3:39:39 PM): i’ve already learned to live with my mental/physical/emotional disabilities

watermelonwish (3:39:43 PM): is the vomit coming?

watermelonwish (3:39:50 PM): i vomit in shame all the time

spiffytiffi912 (3:39:58 PM): no, i haven’t eaten enought to vomit today. hahaha i kno, i kno

spiffytiffi912 (3:40:03 PM): you vomit to many things

watermelonwish (3:40:06 PM): yes

watermelonwish (3:40:21 PM): even though i may be vomiting in disgust/anger/sadness…

watermelonwish (3:40:29 PM): there is always a little tidbit of shame

watermelonwish (3:40:33 PM): a gentle undercurrent of shame

spiffytiffi912 (3:40:41 PM): hahahaha always gotta have the shame

watermelonwish (3:40:46 PM): it makes my daily vomit much more…spicy…

watermelonwish (3:40:50 PM): ALWAYS

watermelonwish (3:40:56 PM): thats the key…the shame…without it

watermelonwish (3:41:00 PM): it’s just regurgitation!

spiffytiffi912 (3:41:36 PM): Hahahaha! more spicy?! It can mean more exciting…and also….it describes your stomach acids beautifully

watermelonwish (3:41:52 PM): it was the stomach acids

watermelonwish (3:42:00 PM): shame adds lots and lots more flavor

spiffytiffi912 (3:42:12 PM): hahhaha omg this is going up on xanga

spiffytiffi912 (3:42:20 PM): so wrong and yet…i love it….

watermelonwish (3:42:20 PM): mwa ha

spiffytiffi912 (3:42:24 PM): hahahahahahahaha

watermelonwish (3:42:28 PM): i hate it…yet i cannot help but touch it….

watermelonwish (3:42:34 PM): caress it…

watermelonwish (3:42:42 PM): love it…

spiffytiffi912 (3:42:47 PM): HAHAHAHA

spiffytiffi912 (3:42:49 PM): exactly

watermelonwish (3:42:49 PM): i wish it would love me too….

watermelonwish (3:42:51 PM): LOVE ME!

spiffytiffi912 (3:42:54 PM): one day, one day

spiffytiffi912 (3:42:58 PM): with enough stalking and molesting

spiffytiffi912 (3:43:01 PM): one day…

watermelonwish (3:43:15 PM): ok

watermelonwish (3:43:23 PM): your words of wisdom comfort me sensei lam

watermelonwish (3:43:32 PM): i am as patient as the gorilla

spiffytiffi912 (3:43:36 PM): hahahahahhaa!!

watermelonwish (3:43:43 PM): as silent as the most dangerous of farts

spiffytiffi912 (3:43:49 PM): and as vomit enduced as a supermodel

spiffytiffi912 (3:43:54 PM): hahahhaha

watermelonwish (3:44:10 PM): mwahahaha

watermelonwish (3:44:16 PM): gotta stay thin….gotta stay thin…

spiffytiffi912 (3:44:27 PM): hahahahah u should put that in your profile!  I feel the fat growing in me!!!!

watermelonwish (3:46:02 PM): i do feel it

watermelonwish (3:46:04 PM): i do…

watermelonwish (3:46:07 PM): help me tiffanie…

spiffytiffi912 (3:46:26 PM): hahaha i must…sicken you for you to vomit some more…BUT HOW?!

watermelonwish (3:46:29 PM): i’m swimming if fat….

watermelonwish (3:46:33 PM): in fat…

spiffytiffi912 (3:46:34 PM): ewwwwww

watermelonwish (3:46:36 PM): GURGLE

watermelonwish (3:46:37 PM): GURGLE

spiffytiffi912 (3:46:44 PM): fat = lard = ickyness…

spiffytiffi912 (3:46:46 PM): ahahahha

watermelonwish (3:46:46 PM): it’s in every orafice!

watermelonwish (3:46:55 PM): fat = lard= ickyness= loretta’s bum

spiffytiffi912 (3:47:01 PM): AHHHHHH!! OH NO!!

spiffytiffi912 (3:47:07 PM): I kno the answer! WUSHU!!!

spiffytiffi912 (3:47:11 PM): Do it……..

spiffytiffi912 (3:47:15 PM): everybody’s doing it……

spiffytiffi912 (3:47:18 PM): u kno u want to……

watermelonwish (3:47:32 PM): do it…

watermelonwish (3:47:35 PM): i’m still considering it

watermelonwish (3:47:36 PM): oh yeah

watermelonwish (3:47:43 PM): you know what i think is the COOLEST?

spiffytiffi912 (3:47:47 PM): what?

watermelonwish (3:47:47 PM): not the swords/weapons…

watermelonwish (3:47:50 PM): this thing you guys do

watermelonwish (3:47:54 PM): when you do this spinning thing

watermelonwish (3:47:57 PM): i was mezmorized

spiffytiffi912 (3:48:02 PM): hahaha oh that? it’s so fun to do

watermelonwish (3:48:04 PM): it’s one of your exercises

watermelonwish (3:48:06 PM): teach me!

spiffytiffi912 (3:48:08 PM): yah, sure!

watermelonwish (3:48:09 PM): forget the sword!

spiffytiffi912 (3:48:11 PM): hahahahaha

watermelonwish (3:48:11 PM): i want to spin!

spiffytiffi912 (3:48:16 PM): spinning is awesome

spiffytiffi912 (3:48:26 PM): but if u spin too fast, the blood rushes to your hands

spiffytiffi912 (3:48:35 PM): and it feels weird….kinda…tingly and heavy

spiffytiffi912 (3:48:39 PM): hahah it’s cool

watermelonwish (3:48:57 PM): tingly…

watermelonwish (3:49:05 PM): sensual tingly or pins and needles tingly?

spiffytiffi912 (3:49:47 PM): more of a pins and needles cuz it goes too fast to be sensual…

spiffytiffi912 (3:49:51 PM): hahahaha

watermelonwish (3:49:53 PM): awww

watermelonwish (3:50:00 PM): i was hoping for a sensual type tingly

spiffytiffi912 (3:50:06 PM): you could MAKE it sensual

watermelonwish (3:50:11 PM): spin…

watermelonwish (3:50:14 PM): with a vibrator?

spiffytiffi912 (3:50:24 PM): hahaha: when you spin “OH YES! OH YES!”

spiffytiffi912 (3:50:32 PM): if…you…want….*shifty eyes*

spiffytiffi912 (3:50:40 PM): kinda make it hard for you to move around tho, don’t u think

spiffytiffi912 (3:50:43 PM): hahaha

watermelonwish (3:50:46 PM): hmm

watermelonwish (3:50:55 PM): what if it’s a REALLY SMALL vibrator?

watermelonwish (3:51:02 PM): or maybe i could put lubricant on my palms?

watermelonwish (3:51:04 PM): is that better?

spiffytiffi912 (3:51:30 PM): hahaha a small vibrator might work for you. lubricant will make holding stuff difficult. you swing sword, u kill bystander

watermelonwish (3:53:26 PM): hmm

watermelonwish (3:53:31 PM): kill bystander you say…

watermelonwish (3:53:41 PM): thats very…intriguing…

spiffytiffi912 (3:54:26 PM): hahahahaha yes, and also very costly

spiffytiffi912 (3:54:31 PM): legal bills and u kno, soul

spiffytiffi912 (3:54:32 PM): hahahaha

watermelonwish (3:54:50 PM): hmm

watermelonwish (3:54:51 PM): soul…

watermelonwish (3:54:57 PM): legal bills…

watermelonwish (3:55:02 PM): a very convincing argument…

spiffytiffi912 (3:55:14 PM): hahahah the legal bills did u in, huh

spiffytiffi912 (3:55:25 PM): “soul, meh, but CASH?! dear god…i can’t afford that!”

watermelonwish (3:55:41 PM): exactly…

watermelonwish (3:55:49 PM): but killing bystanders, tiffanie!

watermelonwish (3:55:55 PM): think of the possibilities!

spiffytiffi912 (3:56:21 PM): hahah do it when you’re old, when you’re going to die anyways!! when you’re young, u deny yourself all the cool stuff you COULD do later on, but when you’re old, there’s no more later on, there’s only NOW

spiffytiffi912 (3:56:25 PM): that’s what i’m planning

spiffytiffi912 (3:56:32 PM): when i’m old, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

spiffytiffi912 (3:56:34 PM): i can’t wait

watermelonwish (3:57:15 PM): mwa hahahah

spiffytiffi912 (3:57:31 PM): hahahaha

spiffytiffi912 (3:57:42 PM): you and me, we can wreak havoc when we’re wrinkly

watermelonwish (3:57:45 PM): we’d be these old grannies

spiffytiffi912 (3:57:49 PM): stupid youth….

watermelonwish (3:57:54 PM): using our cane to inflict pain

watermelonwish (3:57:59 PM): ooh

spiffytiffi912 (3:58:00 PM): YES! and purses!!

watermelonwish (3:58:04 PM): i’ll get one of those metal walkers!

watermelonwish (3:58:09 PM): that would REALLY hurt!

spiffytiffi912 (3:58:15 PM): YEAH!! It’d be like the cage of DEATH

spiffytiffi912 (3:58:21 PM): Electric wheelchair!!!

spiffytiffi912 (3:58:26 PM): run those little bastards over

watermelonwish (3:58:31 PM): hahah!

watermelonwish (3:58:40 PM): they’d have to be pretty slow…

watermelonwish (3:58:47 PM): but wait…JETPACKS!

spiffytiffi912 (3:59:50 PM): YES! by then we should have them! Oh oh!! and HOVERCRAFTS/HOVERBIKES/HOVERCARS!!!

watermelonwish (4:00:02 PM): ooooh

watermelonwish (4:00:05 PM): hovercrafts…

watermelonwish (4:00:10 PM): anything that hovers…

watermelonwish (4:00:14 PM): CAN SMASH THINGS!

watermelonwish (4:00:30 PM): they’ll be human jams and jellies under our hover-miracles!

spiffytiffi912 (4:00:49 PM): YES!!! and we shall reign supreme!!! justice got nuthin on us!!

watermelonwish (4:00:54 PM): hahaha

watermelonwish (4:00:56 PM): but then we’ll die

watermelonwish (4:01:00 PM): we’ll be so old

watermelonwish (4:01:14 PM): OUR HEARTS, TIFFANIE!  WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT OUR WEAK HEARTS?!!!!

spiffytiffi912 (4:01:43 PM): ………Artificial hearts! or in times of desperate need, we kidnapp some youth and take their heart

watermelonwish (4:01:51 PM): yes

watermelonwish (4:02:02 PM): the answer to all of lifes problems lies in the youth

watermelonwish (4:02:11 PM): we’ll simply suck the life outta them

watermelonwish (4:02:23 PM): they don’t have a chance against us in granny-form!

spiffytiffi912 (4:02:24 PM): exactly. we can steal their youth, their eyes, lungs, livers, kidneys, hearts…

spiffytiffi912 (4:02:29 PM): hahaha! they’re like a buffet!

watermelonwish (4:02:29 PM): mwa ha

watermelonwish (4:02:32 PM): and their hair!

spiffytiffi912 (4:02:34 PM): YES!

watermelonwish (4:02:36 PM): we’ll need hair!

spiffytiffi912 (4:02:39 PM): their lucious hair!!

watermelonwish (4:02:50 PM): mwa

watermelonwish (4:03:06 PM): that way i can be a dumb blonde on one day

watermelonwish (4:03:14 PM): and a clever brunette another

spiffytiffi912 (4:03:18 PM): ahahahahah

watermelonwish (4:03:20 PM): depends on my outfit

spiffytiffi912 (4:03:34 PM): we have kids shivering in a small room in our house

watermelonwish (4:03:41 PM): growing out their hair

spiffytiffi912 (4:03:49 PM): some bald, some w/out internal organs.. hahahah it’s our FARM

watermelonwish (4:03:58 PM): human farm

watermelonwish (4:04:01 PM): mwa ha

spiffytiffi912 (4:04:04 PM): ahahahah

watermelonwish (4:04:06 PM): if anyone tries to stop us…

watermelonwish (4:04:15 PM): they’ll just be sucked into the farm!

watermelonwish (4:04:17 PM): never to return!

spiffytiffi912 (4:04:25 PM): use cattle prodes even tho they’re scared into submission just for the hell of it! HAHAHAHAH YES! that should be our threat

spiffytiffi912 (4:04:34 PM): Don’t FUCK with me or it’s TO THE FARM WITH YOU!!!

watermelonwish (4:04:50 PM): mwa hahaha

watermelonwish (4:04:54 PM): we brand them…

watermelonwish (4:04:58 PM): by body parts…

watermelonwish (4:05:09 PM): we brand what we want to “harvest” from them

spiffytiffi912 (4:05:13 PM): hahahahahaha

watermelonwish (4:05:15 PM): “EYES”

watermelonwish (4:05:18 PM): “RIGHT LEG”

spiffytiffi912 (4:05:35 PM): and that will be their NAME. “RIght leg # 235, you come here now!”

watermelonwish (4:05:54 PM): and the one thing we always require…

watermelonwish (4:06:09 PM): ALWAYS take good care of OUR (future) body part

watermelonwish (4:06:18 PM): the rest of them can go to hell

spiffytiffi912 (4:06:25 PM): hahahahaha YES

spiffytiffi912 (4:06:28 PM): exactly

spiffytiffi912 (4:06:41 PM): ahaha we’re so evil….yet…so genius…

watermelonwish (4:06:51 PM): so genius…great minds, great minds…

spiffytiffi912 (4:07:00 PM): hahaha

watermelonwish (4:07:59 PM): so hungry

watermelonwish (4:08:14 PM): starting to gnaw on my wrist

watermelonwish (4:08:16 PM): juicy

spiffytiffi912 (4:08:37 PM): noo!!! you’ll need that for later!

spiffytiffi912 (4:08:40 PM): curb yourself!!

spiffytiffi912 (4:08:44 PM): cuuurrrbbb!

watermelonwish (4:08:44 PM): ok…

watermelonwish (4:08:48 PM): i dont need….

watermelonwish (4:08:51 PM): my left hand!

watermelonwish (4:08:54 PM): it’s useless to me!

watermelonwish (4:08:59 PM): drool

spiffytiffi912 (4:09:01 PM): nono! need it to SPIN!!!

watermelonwish (4:09:04 PM): ahhh

watermelonwish (4:09:04 PM): ok

watermelonwish (4:09:13 PM): i only need one breast to breast feed my child

watermelonwish (4:09:16 PM): ok left one

watermelonwish (4:09:18 PM): YOU’RE GONE!

spiffytiffi912 (4:09:27 PM): hahahaha youll be all uneven tho!!

spiffytiffi912 (4:09:34 PM): go eat some random person on the streeeet!

watermelonwish (4:09:37 PM): ahhh

watermelonwish (4:09:43 PM): i’ll have to bathe them

watermelonwish (4:09:46 PM): we got hobos around here

watermelonwish (4:09:53 PM): they’re probably weak from hunger

watermelonwish (4:09:57 PM): so they’ll go down fast

spiffytiffi912 (4:10:18 PM): hahahaha i can see u stalking one….THEN POUNCING…dragging its carcass behind you

watermelonwish (4:10:23 PM): ahaha

watermelonwish (4:10:24 PM): it

watermelonwish (4:10:37 PM): ‘s trash bag/cart slides behind it

spiffytiffi912 (4:10:46 PM): hahha  a small trail of blood

watermelonwish (4:10:58 PM): ahahaha

watermelonwish (4:11:04 PM): and then they’ll be bathed

watermelonwish (4:11:05 PM): boiled

watermelonwish (4:11:07 PM): roasted

watermelonwish (4:11:09 PM): and then consumed

spiffytiffi912 (4:11:12 PM): mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

watermelonwish (4:11:15 PM): and then expelled

spiffytiffi912 (4:11:15 PM): human flesh…..

watermelonwish (4:11:19 PM): in that brown package again

watermelonwish (4:11:24 PM): my sensual brown friend

spiffytiffi912 (4:11:25 PM): hahah the sensual pellets

spiffytiffi912 (4:11:27 PM): hahahaha!

watermelonwish (4:11:30 PM): yeah!

watermelonwish (4:11:36 PM): sensual pellets!

watermelonwish (4:11:38 PM): ahahaha

spiffytiffi912 (4:11:52 PM): Hhaahahahaha

I found out today that I have to wait another full week before I can go to olive garden…BUT I WANT TO FEEL LIKE FAMILY!  I was considering suicide, but I figured, how am I supposed to feel like family when I’m dead?

So last night we went out to eat Ethiopian food.  Here’s a partial account of all the crazy things that happened and some of my not-so-fun insights about the night (For those of you from hawaii that sent the email to, this will probably be just some half-assed cut and paste job so you might as well look away!  Look away I said!  I’m hideous!).

Yesterday night we (me, brian, tiff, jessie, and loris) went out for a “delicious” dinner at an ETHIOPIAN restaurant. Yes, Ethiopian. Jessie told us that we had to eat Ethiopian food at least once. I agree with her on the point, that yes, we must all try Ethiopian food at least once…and in my case, (probably) ONLY once. But let’s back-track to an hour before dinner, when I first found out that we were going to eat Ethiopian food.

The first thought that came to my head when she said that we were going to eat Ethiopian food was the question, “there is food in Ethiopia?” I mean, I just read an article on MSNBC about this guy who traveled to hungry Ethiopia and there was famine and disease everywhere…and hands grabbing…smiles on everyones hungry faces…those smiles…so sad…I had read that 11 MILLION people were going to die in Ethiopia this year alone, so it made me feel a little bit…selfish…to eat the food of Ethiopia when Ethiopia didn’t have any food at all. But I got over it and happily hopped into my friends car to go to “Little Ethiopia.”

I realized how diverse LA was when I found out there was an actual Ethiopian district in LA (that would be “Little Ethiopia”). The small district is full of Ethiopian restaurants and, for some reason, a lot of cake shops and wedding shops. Yeah, I guess Ethiopia is the wedding-central of the world. Who knew? So we walk into the restaurant and are forced to sit at the bar and wait for a seat b/c there just isn’t enough room for 5 pathetic Asians.

We actually saw two groups of people get seated before us. It almost made me want to kill…almost…but not really. Tiffanie, my so-called heterosexual life-partner and future roommate, and I were too busy “pretending” to be stupid. Yeah…pretending…(ahem)…

We were sitting at the bar and playing make-believe that we were stupid kids that are trying to be really cool and adult-like so we won’t get carded for alcohol but keep on messing up. “Uhh…yeah, I’ll have some Ba-car-di?” “I’ll have some COG-NACK. (supposed to be Cognac)” and my personal favorite, “Yeah, I’ll have some Abso-slut vodka…on ice!” We just sat there and giggled like fools. (sigh) I have so much fun with her.

So when we are seated and the waitress handed us the menu, I, as usual, had my pre-conceived notion about what would be in it. I mean, Ethiopia is having a famine right now, so naturally I just assumed our menu options would be like “One Biscuit Given To You By an American,” or “Dirt from Your Parched Crop-less Land,” or “Corn Meal from Feed the Children,” or “The Last Goat in the Village.” Boy, was I wrong!

The menu was actually pretty full, and not with any of the things I described above. We just let Jessie pick for us. And she got this vegetable thingy, meat thingy, another meat thingy, and this cheese stuff. I don’t really know what any of it was called, I was too busy looking for my “The Last Goat in the Village” selection. Mmm-mmm, goat!

So the first thing that comes out is the vegetables. The waitress brings out this HUGE platter and in it is one layer of this spongy bread stuff. The platter is so big b/c Ethiopian food is communal, we all eat from the same plate. Well, apparently all of the food in Ethiopia is mashed up or something b/c when she put our “vegetables” on the platter, all I saw was mash and not, “beans” or “carrots” or “sweet peas.” She also gave us another big plate of little rolls of that same spongy Ethiopian bread that lined the platter. Now, the way you eat Ethiopian food is this: you tear a little spongy bread from the roll (and this bread is really thin, kind of like a spongy crepe or something) and then you use the bread to grab some veggies. So that’s what we did. I ate a little of all of the vegetables and I happened to notice that almost all of the “ethnic mashes” were very spicy. The bread was kinda sour.

The next “course” was raw beef. Yes, raw. It was cooked a little bit, but I could still see how very, very blood-red the meat was. I avoided that stuff like the plague, so I won’t really elaborate on the flavor of that “exotic” dish. I know, I know, I love sashimi, but at least sashimi doesn’t bleed from it’s very recent slaughter. But a couple of the other people tried it (once again, you tear and grab, that was basically the theme for the night…a very…sensual…sort of theme).

Our main course was this (cooked!) beef with onions and peppers. It was spicy, but it tasted delish. I ate quite a bit of that and basically everyone enjoyed that dish. Tear and grab, tear and grab!

We finished the night with some of the best baklava I’ve ever had.  WAAAAAAAY better than the baklava I make! 

And then Tiffanie and I laughed really hard at this slightly lesbianic moment that transgressed between us.

Well, thats about it.  I will probably have more to write next week when we go to Glendale and eat AT THE OLIVE GARDEN!!!  Woo-hoo!

(anger level rising)

**–**foogray/lor**–**

I’m really happy about my sisters newest guy-interest thing, whatever it is that is happening.  I don’t really know b/c a part of me is just telling me…”so hungry…must eat crushed Doritos!”  He seems really nice and I tried my best to scare him with my eccentricities, and I was even MORE sarcastic then usual (if that’s even possible) but he handled the situation quite well.  My tendency toward sass-back didn’t even make him blink.  That means he’s one of three things 1) mentally retarded (that would explain the handicap sign), 2) deaf (that would also explain the handicap sign), or 3) a cool guy.  I hope, for my sisters sake that it’s 2…I mean 3!  War har!

As for what is happening in my sisters life, I must say this…to whomever is hurting her (and you know who you are, even though I doubt you would ever read this xanga b/c I’m just a poor little child who has no real reason to live other than the fact that I love shopping and Burberry) STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SISTER!  GET A FUCKING LIFE!  YOU ARE SO DAMN PATHETIC THAT IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.  MOVE ON, SHE DOESN’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE; YOU ARE ONLY HURTING HER BECAUSE YOU KNOW WITHOUT HER YOU ARE WORTHLESS…I WOULD FEEL PITY FOR YOU AND YOUR SITUATION IF YOU WEREN’T A CHAUVANISTIC APE!  BUT YOU ARE, SO TOUGH LUCK YOU FUCKING FOOL!…

So yeah.  Other than that, life is pretty boring.  I’m sorry for having to use such language around all of you, as if I don’t swear in real life.  But I’m hungry…all of my newly acquired food is calling to me (“eat us loretta…you know you want to…”).  Drool.  I bought this fruit sorbet…drool x2…so hungry…must eat…but I will be going to dinner soon…but the sorbet is here…now…gaaa!  Sometimes I think I act like I’m 12 or something…well I don’t care.  Acting like I’m stupid makes me happy, just like changing the pasts of people I’ve never met also makes me happy. 

spiffytiffi912 (6:31:31 PM): “let me tell u what is suck, and what is not suck. FO EXAM-PO, YOU are suck! And then, Penguin? That is no suck. That is GOD.”

 

I LOVE YOU TIFFANIE (in the heterosexual-friendship sort of way only)!  YOU ROCK!

 

–lor–