I woke up Sunday morning at 8:30 to my cell phone.  Tiffanie called me to tell me that Caleb would be picking us up at “9-ish,” which wasn’t very clear, but I figured that meant I had like 30 minutes to get ready and then leave for her apartment.  We drove to Tuan’s apartment in Hollywood, and after a moment of just sitting around and talking, Tiff and I laid our heads down on our bags and everyone’s oh-so comfortable weapons and sort of semi-dozed off.  After Jenny and James, arrived (which brings the grand total to Caleb, Tiff, Me, Tuan, Dean, Dean’s dad, Jenny, and James) we left in Caleb’s car to go to the mountain…in Hollywood. 

We passed by the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and all of the interesting Hollywood sights, which I have never seen before outside of the movie Rush Hour.  But Tuan said he would take us around and to famous people’s houses (b/c he used to be a professional stalker!) hurrah!  And then Dean’s dad and I noticed a group of cops enter Ripleys Believe It or Not…don’t cops have better things to do?  Things with doughnuts, coffee, and nightsticks involved?  Stupid lazy-ass cops…

When we reached the mountain, we started our slow ascent.  Actually, seeing that it IS Hollywood, there were all of these people walking their dogs and stuff, which made for many…interesting…smells.  We climbed around ¼ mile and reached this ex-tennis court area.  There was a guy and this kid practicing, I don’t know what it’s called, hockey but with rollerskates…roller hockey?  Eh, whatever.  So we asked to join them and they agreed (as if we would have left if they didn’t…IT’S A PUBLIC PARK FOR GOODNESS SAKES!  Can’t be selfish with what is meant for all…

So the wushu kids separate (which was just about everyone except me) and I go do my Tai Chi thang, and then Tuan helps me (to my great, great, relief) and we go over whatever I know so far of 24 (what our current sequence is called).  And then we work on ONE move across the whole damn court.  CURSE MY ARM AND IT’S UNBENDING WAYS (After about 2 hours of training, my legs were seriously killing me)!!!  The whole point of the thing was for each student to practice separately, whatever they want, and the teachers would be there to help you whenever you needed it.  It was really amusing to see people walk by us and totally stare.  They loved watching Caleb and Tiffanie because they were working the swords (so damn flashy…and you know I love things that are flashy and shiny so that I may line my nest with them…oh wait, that’s crows).  There was this one little girl with her parents who was so cute…she really loved watching the wushu kids and seemed to have fallen in love with Jenny.  It almost made me want kids, but I hate kids, so that is out of the question. 

After the 2 hours of training, we went a little farther up the mountain where there was this monster view.  It would have been perfect if there wasn’t this big blob of smoke or smog right in the middle.  James made this funny joke by saying that Saddaam was there (where the smoke was)…hinting that we just bombed it?  Why don’t you understand?  WHY?!!!

We took a few pictures in front of the view, and they might be posted on the TCWR website.  Haha.  We even took a picture with all of us doing wushu poses (which Tiffanie had to teach me).  It was fun!

We went BBQ after that at Caleb’s house.  When Tiff and I arrived, we just flopped down on Caleb’s couch that is really a mattress with pillows on it, and fully dozed off.  Apparently, we lied down in exactly the same way, because I swear I heard James say, “look, they’re like a mirror image of each other!”  And then I think Tuan says, “I know, they’re the WONDER TWINS!”  Wonder Twins?  WONDER TWINS?  Eh.  Maybe I dreamed it because I fell asleep right after. 

I don’t know how much longer later, but Tiff and I wake up to the sound of her cell phone, and I had a beef kabob in front of my face…Apparently they thought they could wake us by waving the sweet scent of food in front of our noses.  But no. 

I stuffed my face with Jenny’s AWESOME kabobs, BBQ chicken, noodles, and rice.  MMMMMM.  Oh yeah, I also ate chips, lots and lots of chips.  OISHIIIII!  And we watched a VCD of Jackie Chan, but it was sort of a “behind-the-scenes” sort of thing, where we learn some of his secrets and find out how he works.  It was really interesting. 

And then Caleb took us home around 4 pm.  And Tiff and I were dropped off at the UV and I bought coffee for Tiff and myself.  And then we walked home and I immediately started my goddamn ITP Photoshop project…it took me hours….I HATED IT!  AND I’M NOT EVEN DONE!  AHHHH! 

Ok, I gotta get ready for school, and I have Tai Chi again tonight…3 DAYS IN A ROW…HARDCORE BABY! 

Ok.  The Vietnamese noodley stuff we ate was PHO, not FON (why didn’t anyone correct me?)

Last night, we (Tiff, B, Jessie, Loris, Caroline, Nick, myself) went to see the opening of Better Luck Tomorrow.  Similar to my initial disdain when Tiff forced me to go to the LOTR Two Towers premier, I was having second thoughts about seeing this movie.  Why?  I’ll TELL you WHY!

My fear of cheese.

Just kidding.  Well, the problem was that BLT (if you make a sandwich joke, or even THINK it, I will bust your ass!), is about Chinese Americans (like myself…and most of my Cali friends [shifty eyes]).  And you know mainstream entertainment, and many Americans, think of Chinese people in one of three ways:  Assumption 1) We own a supermarket in China town; Assumption 2) We are all really smart and excel at math (something I won’t necessary deny, nor admit); or Assumption 3) Somehow we LIVE the life of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.  Yeah, way to go guys.

BLT attempts to break this conception by portraying four really smart (see Assumption 3) Chinese high school kids who seem to having everything (money, brains, live in a nice area, “nice” clothes, cars, a never-ending supply of cigarettes, etc…actually some may say “good looks,” but I really didn’t see those…in any of the characters…).  But then they start doing petty little crimes, and stuff, and then it becomes more, and more, and more.  It seems as if they are on top of the world.  But you know that’s not going to last.  It is brilliant, yet twisted.

I won’t go in depth into what happens in this movie, but I recommend that you see it.  It was…traumatic…but, it was also funny, thought provoking, and tragic.  You should all consider seeing it if it is playing in your area.  There is a lot of violence, sex, and bad language, but, it didn’t go too overboard in those departments so it is still realistic.

What else?  Tai Chi was difficult today.  For some reason, I just can’t remember what the hell I’m supposed to do.  Jessie, Jenny, and Tuan were all trying to teach me but my brain JUST WOULDN’T WORK!  (sob sob).  But I’ll try to go to that mountain training thing and after a little refresher coarse I’ll just practice, practice, PRACTICE!  And maybe read a little of the Odyssey between my practicing.

Oh yeah.  Tiffanie and I invented this cool new form of martial arts, called TAI SHU.  It blends the grace of Tai Chi with the intensity of Wushu.  Ha, actually, you just do the Tai Chi movements, but you jerk your head like in Wushu.  It’s pretty funny and looks kinda weird, but Tiff and I are confident that it will catch on!  Hahaha!  Then we will make videos of ourselves and sell them.  And when we compete, we’ll have a schizophrenic breakdown and be like, “Wait!  Who are you?!  Where am I?!”  And then we’ll grab the face of one of the female judges and be like, “Daddy?”  And then we will accuse our “father” of cheating on us with his new ho (we’re going to say that his new ho is the old MALE judge sitting next to him).  It will be hella funny!  Tiff and I have already promised ourselves to make this dream into a reality before we die…even if we have to PAY people to allow us to do this to them…ahahahah….

You’ve reached Loretta’s Xanga.  Welcome to HELL.

Ooh, today I saw that someone had etched the word “YAO MING” into one of the desks…ah, the adoration runs deep…

After class today, Daniel picked Tiff and me up from her apt. at 4:15 (Tiff says, “Why not 4:23?”)  We went to go pick up Daniel’s tux and then we went to the Macys to go find Tiff a dress for the dress-up party thing Daniel is having.  BRING THE CD PLAYER TIFF!

After that we went and ate…Fon?  I don’t really remember what it is called, but it was this Vietnamese noodley stuff that was really good and even though I felt like I ate soooo much, both Daniel and Tiff ate more than me.  Actually, Tiff ate more than anyone; she totally inhaled that stuff.  But I don’t blame her.  It was really good, and I know she was craving it.  I have tons of leftovers so I think I have lunch and dinner for tomorrow.  YUM! 

After dinner, we went and got boba, but Tiff was happy to just digest her meal…Tiff is like a snake…she eats one filling meal and then doesn’t eat for like another 6 months… “I have a slow metabolism.”  TIFFANIE!  I KNOW YOU ATE MY BIRD EGGS!  HOW COULD YOU?!!!

Daniel and I were going to go see a movie with Brian and his friends but that didn’t pan out.  Oh well. 

But DUDE, there is this movie that we ALL HAVE TO SEE!  Ok.  The trailer says that there is this guy named Feldon Parkson who is like this powerful entertainment mogul, and he like sleeps with a lot of hos, and is really rich and handsome and stuff (my kinda guy…but he doesn’t have enough hos to satisfy my never-ending lust…).  Okay, so Feldon is driving and talking on his cell phone when BAM!  This tollbooth comes out from nowhere.  And he needs to pay the toll or else that white plastic stick thing won’t let him through and he’s all nervous because if he doesn’t pay the toll, HE’LL GET SHOT!  No wait, that’s not true…the REAL deal is that if he doesn’t pay the toll he’ll be stuck there, holding up traffic!  But he doesn’t want to pay the toll because he doesn’t want to break his $5 bill.  So the SWAT team comes in with this dude named Brandon Marker, and he’s like the most successful police negotiator in the history of the NYC police force.  And he tells the dude, “Ok man, you need to pay the toll!  I don’t want this to end in blood!  Why don’t you pay the toll?  What are you trying to hide?!”  And poor Feldon is like, “Man, don’t you get it?  THIS IS ALL A GAME!!!, if I break my five, yes, I do get to pass the tollbooth, but I have to carry all those fucking bills!  But if I don’t break my five, my pockets stay light and thin, but I’m stuck here forever!”  And on and on for like 2 hours.  I hear there is this awesome twist with something to do with Feldon talking on a phone but I don’t know…yeah.  We HAVE to see this movie, I think it’s rated R for violence, coarse language, and sexual content.  But who cares?  Tiff and I are so down to go see this movie.  I hear it has like major Oscar potential!…what was the name of it again?…Tollbooth?…

P.S.  Daniel SHOULD HAVE SAID, “Yeah, I banged a woman last night!”…don’t ask…

Hey everybody.  It’s me…Loretta…You know…black hair, brown eyes, bleak outlook on life?  WE HAD CLASSES TOGETHER DAMNIT!  Fine.  Pretend you don’t know me, but you know you asked me to sign you damn yearbook!  Oh well.  Who needs friends?

After classes yesterday, I came home and started revising my essay (again…).  It’s almost ready to be printed and turned in.  I’ll just read it again later on today to make sure it is perfect (perfect meaning barely acceptable).  After that it was just about time to go to Tai Chi…time sure flies when you’re grading your own fucking essay!  (sarcasm)

My first Tai Chi class was really fun even though I’m LITERALLY the most pathetic person there. but I think it is good for me to feel some shame considering I have an extremely low tolerance for it (note my tendency to vomit in shame), and maybe I’ll be good at it someday and not feel so bad about myself anymore.  But that is probably a long ways away, considering that I couldn’t even bend my knees correctly.  STROKE THE KITTY!

After Tai Chi we all crammed into Caleb’s car again, and even though he probably doesn’t read this (and never will), I would just like to thank him for taking us so willingly.  I will buy him dinner or a boba someday…look (!) I said “boba!”  Just like you damn native Californians!  Mwa hahaha.  Full integration has now begun…

Oh yeah.  Many thanks to Tiffanie for my Europe souvenir!  It’s taking all my willpower to not pop that damn glass pig into my mouth!  Ahhh!  I can hear the masses laughing at me!  Ohhhh, at least Tiffanie understands my need to eat small, cute fuzzy/glass things…what do you mean you don’t?  Denial!  Denial!  LIES!  LIES!  GIVE ME MY TEXTBOOKS BACK, WOMAN!

After Tai Chi, I went straight home, which was very difficult because I missed out on f-in Popeye’s Chicken!  *sob sob*.  I showered and then STUDIED FOR MY ECON MIDTERM!  AHHHH!  My life is trash!  I gave up Popeye’s for the mind-mashing theories of economics?  WHAT HIDEOUS BEAST HAVE I BECOME?!!! 

**–**lor**–**

I’m taking a break from the ass-breaking labor of having to sit in front of my laptop writing my damn Mythology paper.  10 pages!  10 freakin’ pages?  Who do you think I am?  (insert name of person who is known for writing a lot of 10-page papers with ease)? 

Last night Tiff, Brian, and I finally went to the Olive Garden.  Brian’s friend Richard came with us, and Tiff and I quickly scared him with our shifty eyes, and our desires for a cardboard surgeon.  He was really nice though, and we ended up spending $100.19 total for our dinners, and that pretty much means that we all throw money into a pile and then, somehow it turns out alright.  Oh yeah, when I went to the bathroom, I realized that I had dropped some cream on my shirt, that happened to fall right on the area of my left boob.  So while I was in the bathroom, I was scrubbing it like crazy, which must have looked stupid, because I could see all of the other ladies’ shifty eyes…YOU CAN’T JUDGE ME!  YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME! 

After dinner, Brian picked up his sister at UCLA and we went to Santa Monica to go shopping for shoes.  Brian and his sister both bought shoes from PacSun and after that we separated into 2 groups (1.  Brian, Tiff, and Me; 2. Richard and B’s sister…I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten her name…Andrea?)  Anyway. 

My group went to Borders and we played around with books and Tiffanie rubbed herself against the smutty books…Tiffanie ended up buying manga and while we were there, we decided that our bedroom would be really dark and goth!  Yay!  Dark and goth…with a hint of Burberry for myself.  I also have decided to stock up on coffee table books, because I really enjoy those and I want to make them available to the people who come visit us in our apartment next year. 

What else?  Oh yeah, after that we went back to UCLA, hung out at Brian’s sis’ apartment and we just talked about stuff…then Brian’s “brother” Ben came, and he was nice too…oh yeah, the security at UCLA is insane!  All guests have to be signed in and we have to carry around pink guest cards to get into the buildings.  Haha.  USC has nothing like that.  You could easily walk in with a crowd of people with keys and bypass all of the locked doors.  Hmm…maybe that’s why we have such a high crime rate…

We visited a few more of Brian’s friends from San Marino (sp?) and the whole time we just talked about stuff…and more stuff…OH YEAH…Both Tiffanie and I are not from LA so we really didn’t have any connection to any of the people we were visiting, so we often fell into conversation on our own.  Well, Brian and his friends started doing this let’s-all-become-silent-in-unison-so-we-can-listen-to-Tiffanie-and-Loretta’s-conversation-and-they-won’t-know-it-because-they-are-so-into-their-own-conversation thing.  I swear they did this like at least 6 times.  It would take me and Tiff a while to realize that their conversation had stopped, and when we looked up at them, we’d see them all smiling and laughing at us.  I think they caught me saying, “I want a hello kitty chair” and “Then I’ll kill him and collect the insurance money.”  THE HORROR!

We went home which was scary b/c we were stuck in traffic and BRIAN’S CAR HAD NO GAS around 4 am…that’s with daylight savings time, and then I WORKED ON MY ESSAY!  That’s right.  At 4 am.  Working on my essay in the wee-hours of the mornin’ made me not feel as guilty as I did for going out and having fun when my essay desperately needed to be done. 

So, fast forward a few hours.  I woke up at noon (meaning I got around 7 hours of sleep), which wasn’t the plan at all…I wanted to wake up at 7 am and then work on my essay, but NO!  My stupid, weak body kept on sleeping, and sleeping, and SLEEPING!  GODDAMNIT! 

When I woke up I worked on my essay some more, and then I met Tiff at Cafe84 to walk her to City Park for her CASA interview.  I hope you get it Tiff!!!

Anyway, I have to go back to my essay…I really wish I could go to lunch with you today guys, but my essay really needs to be done…lets go out some other time, ok?  (sob sob).

**–**lor**–**

Today was another boring day.  I just woke up, studied for my econ quiz (thanks daniel), and then went to class.  Blah blah blah.

Ok.  Last night we had the most amazing dinner ever.  THE BIGGEST TURNOUT YET!  We (Matt, Julie, Jason, Loris, Caroline, Daniel, KHAIRUNISSA! [Whoops, I forgot to post her before...*nervous laughter*] Tiffanie, Brian, and I) went to Carls, Jr. for dinner and somehow, the group just fell back into our old habits.  Standing in a huge circle so we form an insurpassable wall (to the irritation of everyone but us), joking about BUAD, and just having a good ol’ time. 

Matt May did the funniest impressions of Liz and…that other girl…who I hated sooooo much.  “Miss Porath!  I would like to volunteer!”  And he did this thing with his head, and screwed up his face so that they looked like monsters or something.  It was great! 

Our group experiences these highs and lows.  After a period of uproarious laughter.  We’d fall into a period of silence with everyone just looking down, probably thinking…of porn…or the weinerschnitzel dog.  Beautiful woman:  “I want you…”  Hotdog:  “You have to catch me…”

After dinner we left and then somehow we formed a circle again and started talking.  We did this toe-tapping dance and it was pretty sad…we finally separated with a “all hands in the circle” kind of thing and a “BREAK!” like the atheletes do, and then we scattered.  It was really a lot of fun.

Well, I have waaaaay too much homework to do and I’m feeling so tired right now…vomit vomit vomit. 

Alright.  I’ve figured out that April 9 will be THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.  Why?  Because I have a MICROECON MIDTERM, an ITP PROJECT due, and A 10-PAGE ESSAY due, all on that day!  ALL OF THEM!  I’m beginning to think that my professors are conspiring against me.  Damn them. 

My roommates are so damn loud.  All the TV noises, the giggling, and the sounds of people falling on the ground, it is just too much for my little semi-hibernating brain right now.  Zzzzzzz…