May 27, 2003

• I was flipping through the channels yesterday and when I paused on VH1 I saw Steven Tyler…

  
  

  On second glance, it wasn’t Steven Tyler at all, but Whitney Houston.  Is there something wrong with me?  Or is it them?  Yes, it’s got to be them, I mean, I’m SO SANE that your head is about to explode.  Is the sheer magnitude of my sanity just too much for you to bear?  Yes, I believe it is. 

  
  

  MSN today has a listing of the best high schools in the nation.  San Marino High (ranked #151) and Arcadia High (ranked #221) were both listed.  HOWEVER (!), Kaiser High was not listed, nor was any other Hawaii school. 

  
  

  This list (which can be found at http://www.msnbc.com/news/912995.asp) was determined by the “Challenge Index” ratio, which is the number of AP (Advanced Placement) and IB (International Baccalaureate) tests taken by the entire student body, divided by the number of graduating seniors.  Schools that actually made an effort to keep stupid, (oops!) I mean “average,” students out (e.g. Punahou, Iolani, etc) were not included on this list.

  
  

  Yes, the standards of education in Hawaii are poor to say the least.  And even though my high school, Kaiser High, home of the Cougars, is considered to be one Hawaii’s better (or maybe the best) public high school, it was not listed at all on this list of 737 schools (actually more b/c there were ties).

  
  

  What does this mean? 

  
  

  Not too much of anything, really. 

  
  

  I realized a long time ago that what high school you’re going to doesn’t really matter that much in the grand scheme of things.  Sure, Punahou and Iolani churn out the majority of Ivy League entrants from Hawaii, but at the same time, a lot more of those private school kids end up going to USC…Just like me…

  
  

  The only difference is that I saved THOU$AND$ of dollars by going to a public school and hahahaha, we both ended up in the same place.  And Kaiser can boast having VALLENT who is currently going to Harvard.  And according to Milton Bradley’s game of LIFE (which we played yesterday), he will become an accountant, cure the common cold, and have 2 children who are both notably boys b/c he’s sexist like no other (just joking, if you’re reading this).

  
  

  But if Kaiser really wanted to get on this list, I think their best bet would be to bribe the students into taking these AP exams by offering them free Mars bars and Papa Johns pizza coupons.  It’s just a thought, but I think it could actually work!  (shifty eyes to the max)

  • 11:56 pm
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