May 1, 2004
-
Jason and I have such great friend chemistry! We were meant to be roommates. Too bad once we live together we'll want to kill each other.
jgusc213: Ikea has such shitty furniture.
jgusc213: I'm shopping for a bed.
watermelonwish: my air mattress is leaking
jgusc213: Are you sure?
jgusc213: You might just be gassy.
jgusc213:
watermelonwish: hahaha
watermelonwish: i can't find the hole in the bed though
jgusc213: I'm surprised it lasted this long.
jgusc213: Poor thing.
jgusc213:
jgusc213: Just set your alarm to go off very couple of hours and have a pump nearby.
jgusc213: You can just keep adding air to it.
watermelonwish: hahaha
watermelonwish: it kind of lasts the night
jgusc213: Maybe I'll get a race car bed!
jgusc213: That's good.
watermelonwish: but when i wake up its all soft
watermelonwish: HAHAA
watermelonwish: you might as well get a princess bed or something
jgusc213: I could get a canopy bed with a mosquito curtain around it.
watermelonwish: i want a curtain
jgusc213: I could be like sleeping beauty!
watermelonwish: just b/c its cute
jgusc213: You already have that going on with your bunk bed.
jgusc213: You have it all curtained off.
jgusc213: I actually assumed for a while that you slept suspended upside down from the light fixture.
jgusc213: That's how most bats sleep.
watermelonwish: i prefer to be called "creature of the night" thank you very much
jgusc213: Or Lorettcula.
watermelonwish: hahah
watermelonwish: instead of sucking blood
jgusc213: You suck BBQ sauce from Carl's.
watermelonwish: haha
watermelonwish: and ranch
jgusc213: Yes.
watermelonwish: i love their ranch
watermelonwish: so do you if memory serves me....
jgusc213: That shit's orgasmic.
jgusc213: I would put it in my shoes so I could feel it squishing around all day if it were socially acceptable to do that.
watermelonwish: not to mention sanitation concerns
watermelonwish: but then again
watermelonwish: you roll around in your own filth
watermelonwish: (don't deny)
jgusc213: I wouldn't eat after this.
jgusc213: I just wash it off.
jgusc213: And smell my toes a lot for the rest of the day.
watermelonwish: hahaha
watermelonwish: it bet it smells even better the day after
jgusc213: You have to let it soak into the callouses and bunions.
jgusc213: Then you're in flavor country!
watermelonwish: hahaha
watermelonwish: mmmm
watermelonwish: its the better way to get rid of tough skin
jgusc213: Don't get all worked up now.
jgusc213: Soak it in ranch and then chew it off.
watermelonwish: let the ranch soak into the callouses
jgusc213:
jgusc213: Tasty.
watermelonwish: haha, i was thinking more on the "it gets germy and infected and then your whole foot falls off"
watermelonwish: but chewing it off is good too
watermelonwish: mmm
watermelonwish: guess what i'm eating for din din!
watermelonwish: bacon, onion, and roma tomato pizza!
watermelonwish: a burst of flavor!
jgusc213: You've added tomatoes!
watermelonwish: i have
jgusc213: Blasphemer!
watermelonwish: it really good that way!
jgusc213: Blasphemer!
watermelonwish: SHUT UP!
watermelonwish: i am THE CREATOR of the SACRED PIZZA
watermelonwish: ALL CHANGES I MAKE BECOMES LAW!!!
jgusc213: You have brought shame on the traditions of your fore fathers!
jgusc213: Very true.
jgusc213: In this arena I yield to your evident omnipotence.
watermelonwish: haha, you may now call me "pizza-jebus"
watermelonwish: or just jebus for short
jgusc213: The Pizza of the Christ.
watermelonwish: hahahaha
watermelonwish: exactly
watermelonwish: and as i get whipped
watermelonwish: i dont cry out
watermelonwish: i take it like a "man"
jgusc213: More like you endure the 30 minute wait until the pizza man comes and delivers you from starvations.
watermelonwish: and i then crucify the pizza
jgusc213: In your stomach.
watermelonwish: and it resurrects as a brown holy log
watermelonwish: bow to the log infidel!
jgusc213: The resurrections comes whenever the Spirit moves you.
jgusc213: Literally.
watermelonwish: yes
watermelonwish: it moves me every morning
jgusc213: And sometimes in the afternoons.
watermelonwish: sometimes 3 or 4 times a day
jgusc213: And sometimes in the middle of the night.
jgusc213: And sometimes during class.
jgusc213: And sometimes during a meal even.
jgusc213: You have IBS.
jgusc213: Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
watermelonwish: so thats what its called!
watermelonwish: FINALLY A DIAGNOSIS FOR MY HORRIBLE DISEASE!
jgusc213: It's a condition afflicting nearly 4 million menopausal women.
jgusc213: I have it.
watermelonwish: menopausal eh?
jgusc213: And now you have it.
jgusc213: I haven't menstrated in years.
watermelonwish: you must have given it to me when we shook hands on the day we met!
jgusc213: :'(
watermelonwish: bastard!
jgusc213: It's highly contagious.
watermelonwish: you've ruined my life....
jgusc213: You have to admit though.
jgusc213: There wasn't much to ruin.
watermelonwish: now i will never have the children i've always wanted...to eat
jgusc213: You can still have children. You'll just have to do an invitro with a surogate slave wench.
watermelonwish: hmmm
watermelonwish: slave wench eh?,.....
watermelonwish: so jason....
watermelonwish: how are your mom's eggs lately?
watermelonwish: fertile?
jgusc213: My mom is a "husk" as Julie would say.
jgusc213: She is no longer a woman.
watermelonwish: NO!
watermelonwish: i guess i'll have to harvest tiffanie
watermelonwish: she won't be a willing host
jgusc213: I can come over and hold her down if you need the help.
jgusc213: But I imagine you've forced yourself onto Tiff so many times, she's gotten used to it.
jgusc213:
watermelonwish: little do you know!
watermelonwish: its the other way around my dear
watermelonwish: i sleep with a fork under my pillow
watermelonwish: thus the leakage in the bed
jgusc213: I bet that poped it.
watermelonwish: hmm yes it now says a lot of prayers
watermelonwish: and it has aged terribly
watermelonwish: do you get it?
jgusc213: No.
jgusc213: I see.
jgusc213: Popped. Poped.
watermelonwish: yup
watermelonwish: you win a prize
watermelonwish: hooked on phonics!
watermelonwish: thats hooked on phonics, the phonics game that (supposedly) makes learning fun
jgusc213: As the saying goes: "When you're 8 you're hooked on phonics and when you're 80 you're hooked on calonics."
jgusc213: That might be misspelled.
watermelonwish: but funny nonetheless
watermelonwish: i'm hooked on ecstasy if that makes any difference
watermelonwish: and you're obviously a sex addict
jgusc213: I'm hooked on Lysol.
jgusc213: And Merle's milk!
jgusc213: For shame!
watermelonwish: hahaha
jgusc213: :-[
watermelonwish: Merle's milk...with a hint of chest hair for added zing, eh?
jgusc213: I strain that out as best I can.
jgusc213: Otherwise I get hair bals.
jgusc213: Nasty, nasty hair balls.
watermelonwish: i'll be sure to get you meow mix hairball develpment formula
watermelonwish: it will help you cough it out
jgusc213: Thank you so much.
Recent Comments