Freedom is SWEET!  I finished my finals officially at 630 on Tuesday with my Managerial Accounting final, and right after that the BUAD crew went out for Korean BBQ and ice cream to get us out of our sour mood over that damn cheescake question.  Tiffanie left on Wednesday (sob), but my strawberrylessness does have a silver lining:  I officially have my own room!  I slaved and slaved for hours dying a slow death as I moved and cleaned, but I managed to achieve the room o' my dreams! 

BEFORE

THE GLORIOUS AFTER!

My sister graduated yesterday, and we lucky Business students (as well as the Cinema students) get to graduate at the Shrine, where all the celebrities go for the Academy Awards (or some other awards ceremony, I don't really care which).  Here are some pics of the inside...

There were over 900 Marshall students graduating, and around 5000 people in the auditorium.  I felt so dirty leaving b/c of the crush of people all around me trying to squeeze out of 4 double doors.  My hand must have brushed at least 5 saggy-baggy ass cheeks as I struggled through the crowd....ACCIDENTALLY brushed, mind you...(shifty eyes)...yes, saggy ass cheeks all for Lor!  All for Lor! *AHEM*

This chandelier is so pretty.  The whole time I was actually clapping for the chandelier, not the graduates.

The speaker for the USC general ceremony (all graduates) had Senator John McCane (McCaine?  McCayne?  McWhatever) as the speaker, and the Marshall ceremony had Richard Cook (Chairman of Walt Disney) as the guest speaker, and one of the student speakers was baseball player Mark William Prior  (he rejected a draft to the NY Yankees to pursue his college education, he is one of 17 MLB players to have a college education, and the 4th of the 17 to graduate from USC!  He plays for the Cubs now, his speech was BY FAR my favorite). 

After three days hanging out with my mama, I'm really tired.  I'll leave you with a picture of the bunnies I'm currently babysitting

Jason and I have such great friend chemistry!  We were meant to be roommates.  Too bad once we live together we'll want to kill each other. 

jgusc213: Ikea has such shitty furniture.
jgusc213: I'm shopping for a bed.
watermelonwish: my air mattress is leaking
jgusc213: Are you sure?
jgusc213: You might just be gassy.
jgusc213:
watermelonwish: hahaha
watermelonwish: i can't find the hole in the bed though
jgusc213: I'm surprised it lasted this long.
jgusc213: Poor thing.
jgusc213:
jgusc213: Just set your alarm to go off very couple of hours and have a pump nearby.
jgusc213: You can just keep adding air to it.
watermelonwish: hahaha
watermelonwish: it kind of lasts the night
jgusc213: Maybe I'll get a race car bed!
jgusc213: That's good.
watermelonwish: but when i wake up its all soft
watermelonwish: HAHAA
watermelonwish: you might as well get a princess bed or something
jgusc213: I could get a canopy bed with a mosquito curtain around it.
watermelonwish: i want a curtain
jgusc213: I could be like sleeping beauty!
watermelonwish: just b/c its cute
jgusc213: You already have that going on with your bunk bed.
jgusc213: You have it all curtained off.
jgusc213: I actually assumed for a while that you slept suspended upside down from the light fixture.
jgusc213: That's how most bats sleep.
watermelonwish: i prefer to be called "creature of the night" thank you very much
jgusc213: Or Lorettcula.
watermelonwish: hahah
watermelonwish: instead of sucking blood
jgusc213: You suck BBQ sauce from Carl's.
watermelonwish: haha
watermelonwish: and ranch
jgusc213: Yes.
watermelonwish: i love their ranch
watermelonwish: so do you if memory serves me....
jgusc213: That shit's orgasmic.
jgusc213: I would put it in my shoes so I could feel it squishing around all day if it were socially acceptable to do that.
watermelonwish: not to mention sanitation concerns
watermelonwish: but then again
watermelonwish: you roll around in your own filth
watermelonwish: (don't deny)
jgusc213: I wouldn't eat after this.
jgusc213: I just wash it off.
jgusc213: And smell my toes a lot for the rest of the day.
watermelonwish: hahaha
watermelonwish: it bet it smells even better the day after
jgusc213: You have to let it soak into the callouses and bunions.
jgusc213: Then you're in flavor country!
watermelonwish: hahaha
watermelonwish: mmmm
watermelonwish: its the better way to get rid of tough skin
jgusc213: Don't get all worked up now.
jgusc213: Soak it in ranch and then chew it off.
watermelonwish: let the ranch soak into the callouses
jgusc213:
jgusc213: Tasty.
watermelonwish: haha, i was thinking more on the "it gets germy and infected and then your whole foot falls off"
watermelonwish: but chewing it off is good too
watermelonwish: mmm
watermelonwish: guess what i'm eating for din din!
watermelonwish: bacon, onion, and roma tomato pizza!
watermelonwish: a burst of flavor!
jgusc213: You've added tomatoes!
watermelonwish: i have
jgusc213: Blasphemer!
watermelonwish: it really good that way!
jgusc213: Blasphemer!
watermelonwish: SHUT UP!
watermelonwish: i am THE CREATOR of the SACRED PIZZA
watermelonwish: ALL CHANGES I MAKE BECOMES LAW!!!
jgusc213: You have brought shame on the traditions of your fore fathers!
jgusc213: Very true.
jgusc213: In this arena I yield to your evident omnipotence.
watermelonwish: haha, you may now call me "pizza-jebus"
watermelonwish: or just jebus for short
jgusc213: The Pizza of the Christ.
watermelonwish: hahahaha
watermelonwish: exactly
watermelonwish: and as i get whipped
watermelonwish: i dont cry out
watermelonwish: i take it like a "man"
jgusc213: More like you endure the 30 minute wait until the pizza man comes and delivers you from starvations.
watermelonwish: and i then crucify the pizza
jgusc213: In your stomach.
watermelonwish: and it resurrects as a brown holy log
watermelonwish: bow to the log infidel!
jgusc213: The resurrections comes whenever the Spirit moves you.
jgusc213: Literally.
watermelonwish: yes
watermelonwish: it moves me every morning
jgusc213: And sometimes in the afternoons.
watermelonwish: sometimes 3 or 4 times a day
jgusc213: And sometimes in the middle of the night.
jgusc213: And sometimes during class.
jgusc213: And sometimes during a meal even.
jgusc213: You have IBS.
jgusc213: Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
watermelonwish: so thats what its called!
watermelonwish: FINALLY A DIAGNOSIS FOR MY HORRIBLE DISEASE!
jgusc213: It's a condition afflicting nearly 4 million menopausal women.
jgusc213: I have it.
watermelonwish: menopausal eh?
jgusc213: And now you have it.
jgusc213: I haven't menstrated in years.
watermelonwish: you must have given it to me when we shook hands on the day we met!
jgusc213: :'(
watermelonwish: bastard!
jgusc213: It's highly contagious.
watermelonwish: you've ruined my life....
jgusc213: You have to admit though.
jgusc213: There wasn't much to ruin.
watermelonwish: now i will never have the children i've always wanted...to eat
jgusc213: You can still have children. You'll just have to do an invitro with a surogate slave wench.
watermelonwish: hmmm
watermelonwish: slave wench eh?,.....
watermelonwish: so jason....
watermelonwish: how are your mom's eggs lately?
watermelonwish: fertile?
jgusc213: My mom is a "husk" as Julie would say.
jgusc213: She is no longer a woman.
watermelonwish: NO!
watermelonwish: i guess i'll have to harvest tiffanie
watermelonwish: she won't be a willing host
jgusc213: I can come over and hold her down if you need the help.
jgusc213: But I imagine you've forced yourself onto Tiff so many times, she's gotten used to it.
jgusc213:
watermelonwish: little do you know!
watermelonwish: its the other way around my dear
watermelonwish: i sleep with a fork under my pillow
watermelonwish: thus the leakage in the bed
jgusc213: I bet that poped it.
watermelonwish: hmm yes it now says a lot of prayers
watermelonwish: and it has aged terribly
watermelonwish: do you get it?
jgusc213: No.
jgusc213: I see.
jgusc213: Popped. Poped.
watermelonwish: yup
watermelonwish: you win a prize
watermelonwish: hooked on phonics!
watermelonwish: thats hooked on phonics, the phonics game that (supposedly) makes learning fun
jgusc213: As the saying goes: "When you're 8 you're hooked on phonics and when you're 80 you're hooked on calonics."
jgusc213: That might be misspelled.
watermelonwish: but funny nonetheless
watermelonwish: i'm hooked on ecstasy if that makes any difference
watermelonwish: and you're obviously a sex addict
jgusc213: I'm hooked on Lysol.
jgusc213: And Merle's milk!
jgusc213: For shame!
watermelonwish: hahaha
jgusc213: :-[
watermelonwish: Merle's milk...with a hint of chest hair for added zing, eh?
jgusc213: I strain that out as best I can.
jgusc213: Otherwise I get hair bals.
jgusc213: Nasty, nasty hair balls.
watermelonwish: i'll be sure to get you meow mix hairball develpment formula
watermelonwish: it will help you cough it out
jgusc213: Thank you so much.

Please click on the picture to read.  The writing is too small to get the full Engrish experience!

I got this "bambdo chopslick" wrapper at the UV.  Reading its superb english makes me proud to say that "Yah, me chinee!" 

It's time to reveal all...

I am dating HIM...

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Introducing:  Spencer.  I had a picture of us together but I looked like a gigantic oinker, so I decided to just post one of him.  Just letting you guys know!  Har har har.  Time to go die as I write papers and all that good stuff.   

Something cool I learned in marketing today...

In other news...The marketing presentation that we thought we aced...we didn't.  We got a tear-inducing 88/100.  NOOOOOOOOO.  STUPID QUINCY AND HIS DAMN QUINCY-ASS WAYS!...(marry me!)...On a lighter note, next semester's living situation is going to be FANTASTIC!  It's going to be a study-heavy apartment, so I'm going to totally make up this semester's funked-up grades with insane studying next semester.  Jason, Char, and I had a great dinner Thursday and OMG the three of us were meant to be.  We are all super-anal about the living conditions next semester (esp. studying conditions), which manifested itself in a set of crazy-ass regulations...here's a taste of what we came up with:

• Quiet hours (aka "Shut the hell up" hours) after 12 am.
  
• No avoidable loud noises AT ALL unless all three of us are in confirmed non-study time.
  
• No guests/friends/anyone allowed outside of study/project groups and you must inform the other roommates before their arrival (short visitations under 15 minutes are allowed).
  
• No "sharing," which technically translates into "No stealing" 
  
• Walking around in underwear is permitted; please tuck in all "flaps," "bags," and other undesireable parts of the body in some sort concealing fabric. 

We also included a special "Cubby Clause" on the care and handling of our future apartment mascot.  Luckily, Jason has some experience with hamsters (meaning he likes putting them down his pants), so he's willing to take care of Chubby Cubby over the summer!  (Thanks Jason!)  For those of you who are unfamiliar with us, here are pictures of the future "be quiet or I'll kick your ass" dysfunctional residents of this apartment. 

Little miss handle Cubby while drunk.

My personal body guard.

Our mascot:  The evil vampire hamster

And finally......the person you've worked so hard scrolling down for....ME!

HAHAH it's actually my Dancha baby shmoop-shmoop fluffy floof-floof peeing!  Hahah, look at the mixture of shock and anger on his face b/c I suprised him by jumping out from behind the curtain and took a picture!

And of course, old friends will still be around City Park...

Guys from across the street!  YAYAYAY!

Spencer (2nd place winner at Undergraduate Symposium with Brett who was shafted b/c he is a business major like me!  OMG!)

This was a long post, I know, but it will probably be my last one at least until I get through these last few weeks of Business/Accounting HELL.

O

M

F

G

I woke up from a nap today (Friday) at 730 pm to find my bathroom sink filled with blackish-brown water.  Even though I was surprised considering my sink was not clogged an hour earlier and I hadn't touched the tap, I figured things were ok b/c I would just wait until tomorrow morning and put a work order in.  I took another nap (heheheheeeh) until 1130 pm and when I woke up and went to the bathroom THIS is what I found

A GHOST IN THE MIRROR!  Actually, no.  My sink was OVERFLOWING with this disgusting water.  And the scary thing was that the water was coming up from THE DRAIN (remember:  tap NOT on).  Here's the basic rundown of my thought process...(steps into bathroom), why are my feet wet?...OH MY FUCKING GOD!  HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP!!!  I called Laura and she said she couldn't do anything until TOMORROW at NOON.  GRRRRRRR.  Here's a closeup of the HORROR:

Thanks to Kellie and Char for helping me rescue the stuff from the bathroom and letting me use their shower.  I'm going to go to bed now and try to forget just how germy and bacteria-infested my once-clean bathroom is now.  Oh, here's a picture of Cubby (who was once "Peanut") my new hamster that was once my sister's but is now mine...she just got a widdle bunny-kins so she has probably already forgotten her ex-pet anyway!  

Ok, the fun times are over.  Legola---I mean Orland--I mean cardboar--DAMNIT I MEAN JERMAINE is asleep right now I'm going to use this precious free time to xanga.  So basically the big thing of last week was my Marketing presentation with THE BEST MARKETING TEAM EVER!!!  Yeah, not only did we rock marketing-wise, we all looked hella sexy in our matching PINK and BLACK themed business suits.  Take a look!: 

DAAAAAAMN we look good...

HAHAHA, I have no idea what they're laughing at

Just the ladies!

Look at our boys!  So GQ with their pink ties!

...And now we wait for the grade...

The Greatest Love Story of All Time:

 

From the makers who brought you classics such as The Eye, they bring you not horror this time, but a love story that transcends time, and makes all other love stories look useless and stupid.  Join us, as we track this star-crossed couple throughout their journey of love together…….

 

 

 Upon first contact, instant attraction sparked the air.  They could not keep their eyes off each other.  Jermain Chavez, like a true gentleman, asked the genteel lady, Lor, for a night on the town.

 

 

He successfully wooed Lor with "yo mama" jokes, deep fried onion rings, and pickled eggs, earning her coy affection…she molested him violently that night.

 

 

You can see in his expression the attraction he felt towards bashful Lor.

 

 

 

On Valentine’s Day, he surprised her with a gift of chocolates, a gift that no man other than Jesus would’ve thought of to give a lady.  Their springtime fancy bloomed into true love.

 

 

Knowing he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, Jermain gathered the courage to ask for her hand in marriage.

 

 

 

The love of his life was shocked by the huge ice on that platinum band, and bashfully accepted, and ever-so ladylike, grabbed his crotch in the traditional gesture of ownership.

 

 

He was so in love with her at this moment, as can be seen by his passionate expression.

 

 

 

But their love life was not a smooth path--there were certainly many bumps in the road. Take the pre-wedding jitters they had; Jermain strongly wished to be the one to wear the veil, but Lor convinced him otherwise with her womanly wiles.

 

 

He faltered, and reluctantly relinquished the veil.

 

 

They call upon the most holiest of priests for this momentous occasion, Father Babbett of the House of Celestial Worshippers.  Father Babbett is trained to do weddings, funerals, birthday parties, family barbeques, ferret weddings, puppy funerals, fish flushings, and also caters on the side.  No checks; money up front only please.

 

 

The wedding was a joyous affair!  Friends from both sides came to celebrate the union between this modern Romeo-and-Juliet. 

 

 

Look how happy he was when the blushing bride officially became Lor Chavez.

 

 

 

Not too long after, Lor squeezed out a beautiful baby.  Soon after the birth, the exhausted, but joyful, mother brought the infant to the new papa.

 

 

He was bursting with pride, his eyes misting over.  He will make sure his child has everything he never had – a bike, a high school education, five dollars a month allowance, masculinity, and pants.

 

 

The soul-mates never left each other’s side, staying happily married for 90 years.  Though Lor had aged beautifully…

 

 

Jermain’s face however, showed the toll of time.  But his weathered face could not hide the love he had for his sexy woman.  They still did the nasty everyday.

 

 

Unfortunately, Lor Chavez was the first to go, and had a wonderful funeral celebrating her life.  Friends from all over the world came to pay their respects.

 

 

The grieving widower wanted to take his own life, but decided to live out his years annoying his offspring, knowing that one day, he will be reunited with his one and only.  But from that day forth, a noticeable sadness permeated his expression.

 

40 years later, he died when thought he was eating a delicious flower…that was really a knife.  He saw his love again, and together, they took over the land of the dead and they ruled with an alcohol-induced iron fist.

 

The End

 

Spring break has come to an end, which means no more delicious hermit-y-ness, no more tv, and a lot of work to do.  Blah, I say, BLAH.

Starting this week I've got marketing group meetings practically everyday between and after class (up until next Monday (29th) morning when we present) so I'm going to be real busy and tired.  I'll think of Quincy to give me strength....(thinking)....(thinking)....(thinking)...nope, doesn't work; damn you Quincy.  Alright, I'll think of Merle's triangular man-ta-tas to give me strength....(thinking)....(thinking)....(thinking)....*vomit*

Now that Tiff is back home, and we have the video camera and ample toilet paper, we can finally make that tv-show pilot we've been dreaming of all these months.  We'll need skilled camera men to help us film our first story, which includes me and Tiff running down the street, somehow reappearing inside of the apartment, and...Tiff dies and turns into a carpet sample...ok, ok, FINE the carpet part I made up, but she does die...when she is KILLED BY THE STUFFED, yet sexy, LADY-KILLER PENGUIN, BABUSHKA.  Can we say, "brilliant?".....

I smell....failure...I MEAN--I smell...failure.

Good luck on classes everyone, and to those who are still on break/just starting break have a good one...lucky bastards...

Transcript from the nationally broadcasted Loveline (note:  this was taken from an online newspaper article, so I'm pretty sure it's accurate.  If you want to see the actual article go HERE)

Dr. Drew: I wonder if Hawai'i has weathermen.

Adam Carolla: I'm sure.

D: Cause it's the same everyday, no matter what.

C: Maybe they don't. Hawaiians are too dumb. They can't figure out barometric pressure. They don't know what that means.

D: They have wind some days.

C: Here's the problem with weather in Hawai'i. There's a bunch of big words.

D: Yeah.

C: And they can't handle big words over there, because they're the world's dumbest people.

D: Well, they can't (sic) handle big words, but they must have three letters.

C: Yeah, they handle big words, but it's got to be the name of a fat chick or some drink. They don't do science. Close your eyes and picture all the great Hawaiian scientists over the years. (Laughs) They're retarded people. They stay on the island. They're in-bred, obviously. They're the dumbest people we have.

D: I have met some smart South Pacific people. Not who lived there.

C: People are smart enough to move. Everyone close your eyes and think of all the amazing contributions the Hawaiian scientific community has made over the years. (Long pause) Uh ... They're stupid people.

D: All right. Let's hear from them. Let's hear what they have to say. It'd be interesting to hear what they have to say.

C: What, the Hawaiians? First off, they don't know how to dial the phone. They can't call. They don't know what they're doing. They have big calves. That's all. They're stupid people. We really should start bringing some of them in 'cause they're strong. They're a strong, sturdy breed.

Alright, as someone who is from Hawaii, I don't know whether I should laugh or be offended.  Yeah, I understand that it's mean (especially those inbred/retarded comments...what's up with that?), but at the same time, you gotta admit that it's also kind of funny.  I've listened to Loveline before (sadly) and they've poked fun at everyone.  Why is it that Adam Carolla can have "The Man Show" which has girls in skimpy little outfits, jumping around on trampolines and stripper poles, not to mention all the times those Loveline guys have dissed other races of people as well as jocks, truckers, cheerleaders, and celebrities, yet I don't get any chain letters or emails from outraged people trying to defend the truckers and strippers?  But apparently, when they diss locals and Hawaiians, OMG they've gone too far...come on guys...let's be fair.  Just yesterday I heard a million Irish jokes, and no one emailed me wanted to protect Irish rights.  Unless people are willing to be morally offended by every and all un-PC or anti-people comments, they really should not complain.  I'm Chinese, and I am portrayed as either the nerd, the drycleaner, or the owner of some out-of-the-way asian supermarket.  And thats fine, because come on, life is funny.  *Sorry if any of my comments offend any of those who read this.