Month: May 2003

  • In his last entry Daniel wrote this:  “So is it wrong to be self-interested? This might sound redundant to my earlier entries, but aren’t we taught sharing is caring. WE aren’t taught to be self-interested, but we are… I guess its something innate.”


    In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with being selfish b/c if we aren’t at least a little selfish we won’t take proper care of ourselves, b/c we’ll be too busy caring about others.  We will CARE so much about others that we’ll SHARE all of our belongings with them.  And then we’ll have nothing.  We’ll be malnourished hobos with bad hygiene.  In conclusion:  Sharing may be love/caring, but sharing also is the root of all evil. 


    Alright, here is the list of all the shows being cancelled on many of our favorite mainstay TV stations…I marked the shows that I wanted gone with a smiley face (J), and shows that I didn’t want gone with an unhappy face (L). 


    ABC
    “All-American Girl,
    J” “Are You Hot? J ,” “Dinotopia, J” “Lost at Home, J” “MDs, J” “Miracles, J” “Push, Nevada, J” “Regular Joe,J” “That Was Then, J“Whose Line Is It Anyway? L and “Veritas: The Quest J


    CBS
    “The Agency,
    J” “Bram and Alice, J” “My Big Fat Greek Life, J” “Presidio Med, J” “Queens Supreme, J” “Robbery Homicide Division J” and “Touched by an Angel J 


    FOX
    “30 Seconds to Fame,
    J” “Andy Richter Controls the Universe, J” “Fastlane, J” “Firefly, J“Futurama, L “girls club, J” “John Doe, J” “Married by America, J” “Meet the Marks, J” “Mr. Personality J” and “The Pitts J


    NBC
    “A.U.S.A.
    J” “Hidden Hills, J” “In-Laws, J” “Kingpin, J“Just Shoot Me, L “Mister Sterling, J” “Providence J” and “Watching Ellie L” (ßdidn’t like the show but I think “Elaine” is the GREATEST!)


    UPN
    “Abby, J” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer, J” “Haunted, J” “Platinum J” and “The Twilight Zone J

    WB (I actually hate everything on the WB so GOOD FOR THEM)
    “Birds of Prey,
    J” “Black Sash, J” “Dawson’s Creek, J” “Do Over, J” “Family Affair, J” “Greetings from Tucson, J” “Off Centre J” and “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch J

  • I was flipping through the channels yesterday and when I paused on VH1 I saw Steven Tyler…


    On second glance, it wasn’t Steven Tyler at all, but Whitney Houston.  Is there something wrong with me?  Or is it them?  Yes, it’s got to be them, I mean, I’m SO SANE that your head is about to explode.  Is the sheer magnitude of my sanity just too much for you to bear?  Yes, I believe it is. 


    MSN today has a listing of the best high schools in the nation.  San Marino High (ranked #151) and Arcadia High (ranked #221) were both listed.  HOWEVER (!), Kaiser High was not listed, nor was any other Hawaii school. 


    This list (which can be found at http://www.msnbc.com/news/912995.asp) was determined by the “Challenge Index” ratio, which is the number of AP (Advanced Placement) and IB (International Baccalaureate) tests taken by the entire student body, divided by the number of graduating seniors.  Schools that actually made an effort to keep stupid, (oops!) I mean “average,” students out (e.g. Punahou, Iolani, etc) were not included on this list.


    Yes, the standards of education in Hawaii are poor to say the least.  And even though my high school, Kaiser High, home of the Cougars, is considered to be one Hawaii’s better (or maybe the best) public high school, it was not listed at all on this list of 737 schools (actually more b/c there were ties).


    What does this mean? 


    Not too much of anything, really. 


    I realized a long time ago that what high school you’re going to doesn’t really matter that much in the grand scheme of things.  Sure, Punahou and Iolani churn out the majority of Ivy League entrants from Hawaii, but at the same time, a lot more of those private school kids end up going to USC…Just like me…


    The only difference is that I saved THOU$AND$ of dollars by going to a public school and hahahaha, we both ended up in the same place.  And Kaiser can boast having VALLENT who is currently going to Harvard.  And according to Milton Bradley’s game of LIFE (which we played yesterday), he will become an accountant, cure the common cold, and have 2 children who are both notably boys b/c he’s sexist like no other (just joking, if you’re reading this).


    But if Kaiser really wanted to get on this list, I think their best bet would be to bribe the students into taking these AP exams by offering them free Mars bars and Papa Johns pizza coupons.  It’s just a thought, but I think it could actually work!  (shifty eyes to the max)

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!


    Conan O’Brian:  THE YEAR 2000 SKIT


    The year 2000…In the year 2000, robots will be developed to do our dull, repetitive tasks, like doing the dishes and marrying J.Lo.


    The year 2000…In the year 2000, carrots may no longer improve eyesight, but it is STILL #1 for scratching deep, rectal itch.


    I am DYING of boredom here.  SAVE ME!


    You’d think living on an island paradise would be great…and it is…but those good island feelings only last for about…1 week.  I hit that point yesterday.  I wish it would rain like in California…pouring for days at a time…it would be a nice, gloomy change.  But I do like the laid-backedness of Hawaii, and everyone here is usually very polite, which makes me feel all warm and vomit-y inside.  Oh, and one of the best parts?  Not as many homeless people, and if there are any, they aren’t as creepy as this one bum that sat at the walkway near Century at USC…


    Hobo:  Heeeyyy…can I have a hug?


    Me:  NO!


    Hobo:  Oh…well, can I have a dollar?


    Me:  NO!


    (shudder)  He was there everyday… “Hey, you got some change?”  “Can I have some change?”  “Spare some change?”  NO!  NO!  NO!  NOOOOO!  I won’t give you my change because some GIRL I KNOW takes it right out of my hand the moment I get it…(cough) TIFFANIE (cough cough). 


    I got a digital camera the other day, so I will buy myself some Xanga premium later to help document my sad, sad life.  Oh, I will also be making a cameo on the DoNotDate Xanga sometime soon so LOOK OUT GUYS!  Your nightmare has arrived…(eerie red glow in the room, stroking a cat on my arm, evil laughter).  I’ll keep you updated for when that actually happens…


    I miss all of you guys (sob sob)!  But I do have to look forward to the new apartment and the housewarming party…I mean…partAY…oh wait, no, it’s really party.  Tiffanie and I will be having our housewarming party sometime after we get settled.  Tiff will be cooking and I will be…cleaning.  I can’t cook, ok?  LAY OFF!  But there will be a lot of great food (including A LOT of ice cream if I have my way), music, friends, and we’ll just have a nice time, ok?  You’re all invited!!!  Yippee! 

  • I had another dream last night…


    I’m somehow back at school, but it’s either not USC or a very different looking USC (blue tile everywhere…even on the stairs!).  Its finals week, but I’m already done with my four finals.  But of course…my dreams always have some stupid twist in them…I realize that I actually have a FIFTH class, and I have a final for it the next day.  Oh no!  I’m screwed!  HOW COULD I FORGET THAT I HAD ANOTHER CLASS?!  HOOOOOOOOOWWW?!?!  I can actually remember feeling frightened that I wasn’t going to get a 4.0 (as if I’m actually getting one right?).  But that was not the weirdest part…my fifth class turns out to be the study of…


    GUMMY BEARS


    I was taking a class all about the noble gummy bear.  I even remember I had a textbook about the subject.  Seriously folks, what’s wrong with me?  In my dream, I was a wreck.  I was studying like crazy, and I was confused, and I was so scared that I’d flunk the freakin’ STUDY OF GUMMY BEARS!  I figure the only way you can flunk that class is to just not know what a gummy bear is…or maybe not like gummy bears b/c then you’re just stupid for registering for the class in the first place.

  • Why I like home reason #1:  I can take a nap whenever I want, in my room, all alone, and I DON’T HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT!


     


    I took a 3 hour nap today (smile smile), but I had this super weird dream…


     


    I get stranded somewhere, I don’t remember how or where, but I know I’m stranded, and I see this pretty black car approach, I think it was a Porsche but I don’t know.  I hop inside it (Hey!  Look at me!  I’m a rapist’s dream!), and guess whose driving the car…JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.  His incorporation was probably a result of all of the MTV commercials that I’ve seen that are gushing over how he’s co-hosting the VMAs.  Anyway…So I’m in the car with him, and he’s talking on his cell phone.  And as a testament to how dangerous it is to drive with a cell phone, the car veers sharply to the right and we almost hit a wall.  I scream, but try to stifle it.  I guess he noticed how scared I was b/c he pulls over his car and continues talking on his cell.  So I’m sitting there in the passenger seat, still a little shaken, and actually, I’m a little shocked to see who I’m sitting next to.  And then I smell this really alcohol-y smell coming from him.  Great.  He was also drunk.  But the worst was yet to come.  He starts vomiting into a bag, and I’m thinking, OH DEAR LORD WHAT DO I DO NOW?  All I can do is pat him on the back.  Luckily, since he shaved his head, I didn’t have to hold back his hair for him.


     


    That was part one of the dream.  I can’t remember as much of part two but here goes…


     


    I’m a part of the Final Fantasy VII game, but there are none of the usual characters there.  This other girl and I are in this bluish-black, craggy, cave thing, and we’re trying to collect materia.  But this wasn’t any old materia, this was all of the SUMMON materia.  Bahamut, Shiva, Odin, the works.  But to get it, we had to play this Pacman-like game.  So the girl goes down (and I’m controlling her like it’s the real thing) and she collects all the materia.  We show it to this guy who’s running the cave and he tells me that actually, 5 of the 12 we ended up getting were useless.


     


    And then I wake up. 

  • I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated.  I’ve just been so busy lately with packing, moving out, saying goodbyes.  Ahhh…there was so much to do!


     


    On Tuesday, I spent the whole day packing all of my stuff into any boxes I could find…I actually forgot to pack a lot of important things (e.g. TV remote control, trash can, lamp…) but luckily, Brian took a lot of the stuff.  I hope that he is KEEPING THEM SAFE.  The next thing I know, he will absorb all of my belongings and make them his own.


     


    A DRAMATIZATION OF THE FUTURE “BELONGINGS” CONFRONTATION


     


    Loretta:  Dude, do you have my stuff?


    Brian:  What stuff?


    L:  I gave you some of my stuff from the apartment to hold for when I came back…here I am, so where is my stuff?


    B:  Yeahhhh…that never happened.  I don’t have your stuff.


    L:  BUT THAT’S MY IRON!  RIGHT THERE!  YOU’RE USING IT AS WE SPEAK!


    B:  (shifty eyes) no…uhh…this is MY iron.  I got it for Christmas…


    L:  LIES!  LIES!  LIES!!!  (Kills Brian, takes iron and other things he held for her, and his PS2 for good measure).


     


    Poor Tiffanie and I had to lug all of my crap up to her dorm…HER DORM HAS NO ELEVATORS!  What the hell?  So we go up and down, and up and down, and up and down…with heavy boxes and crap.  


     


    On the last trip, where I was carrying my little TV (it’s a small TV but it was in a huge box) I stained my clean shirt.  And that was the shirt I was going to wear to Buccas.  I wanted to either die, or kill someone…OR I could kill someone then die, that would work too.


     


    So, I borrowed a shirt from Tiffanie and we three were off to Bucca Di Beppo.  But first we made a stop at TCWR and said goodbye to everyone.  We must have looked pretty stupid, uh, I mean ELEGANT, with our nice clothes while everyone else was sweating and doing wushu.


     


    Thanks to Jenny and Tiffanie for the Taiji CD.  I will watch it and learn from it while I’m gone…


     


    We go to Buccas where we are like 30 minutes late (Our reservation was under LorLam Briel…get it?  LORetta, tiffanie LAM, BRian, danIEL).  We met Daniel who was watching the Lakers game (he kept on going back even after we were seated!!!).  I requested the kitchen table b/c that’s where we sat the first time.  We ate and ate and ate and Tiffanie and I joked as usual.  I paid for dinner, which was cool b/c YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!


     


    After that we went to the Bonaventure where we ordered nonalcoholic drinks, Tiffanie, Brian, and I ordered drinks that came with keepsake cups.  They’re so cute!  So we sit around, and just talk, and laugh at this girl who had a huge nose (cruel, I know). 


     


    Some Revolution Cafe highlights:  Brian said he was going to be me for Halloween, he was just going to be mean, and belligerent.  Right after that, Daniel says, “Hey, I’m going to be Brian for Halloween!  I’ll just eat and EAT!”  Tiffanie, Daniel, and I each had a good laugh at Brian’s expense.  Ahahaha. 


     


    The song YMCA by the Village People came on.  Tiffanie and I both hate the song yet are somehow drawn to the “dance.”  So we make a compromise:  Only doing the Y-M-C-A with our fingertips hidden under the table.  So our faces look like we are angry and don’t care, while our fingers are moving. 


     


    When I went home, I just spent the next 6 hours packing.  The horrible thing was, b/c of all the lifting, my arms were soooo sore.  I couldn’t even pick up my CD player without gasping in pain.  But I had to pack.  And when I needed a minute, I would lie down and pray for my arms to fall off.  When 7 am rolled around, my sister called and said that we were going to leave for the airport soon.  So, I finished off my packing, threw my leftover food into some bags (for the sister), and we left. 


     


    The plane ride was alright, and it’s nice to be home.  I was going to write more, but I think I’ve written enough and I’m pretty tired now. 

  • Its 12:30 am…I really should be asleep seeing as I have a final tomorrow…oh, actually, this afternoon.  But as I laid in bed I began to think about who I am as a person and what the hell I’m going to do with the mess I call my life. 


    I know most people reading this are already starting to close their browser windows, or are moving their mouse towards the “back” button thinking, “oh, it’s going to be that kind of post.”   “That” being the kind of post that has me talking about me, and possibly my growth as a human being.  (sigh).  Whether or not you’re here has no bearing on my thoughts, so you are free to stay or leave as you wish (Loretta secretly thinks, “stay; come on STAY!  I’m so lonely….” Kidding…).


    I realized a few minutes ago that before now, I’ve been living a fake life.  In high school, all I wanted to be was Goth or alternative.  Mostly because being gothic or alternative basically entails the privilege of being able to hate everyone and everything around you, no questions asked.  I’m a dark, hateful person by nature, and I actually have no clue why that is…so my logic was that if I lived a lifestyle where darkness and hatred were actually a prerequisite, well, people wouldn’t question me about my problems, they’d just accept it. 


    But looking at me now, you’d realize that me being Goth is just about impossible (yes, Daniel, I’m not goth, accept it).  If there is one thing I love, it is luxury.  And Burberry and Goth just don’t mix.  Seriously, how the hell was I supposed to pull that off? 


    So in my HS years, I sort of teetered in the middle.  I was alternative-ish…and that’s about all I could do with myself.  But it’s not like I didn’t try to become more than an –ish.  When my TRULY ALTERNATIVE friends and I went to a New Found Glory concert (before they were “famous” even though I’d hardly categorize them as famous now), I convinced myself that I was going to have fun that night as I lived out my fiercely-desired lifestyle.  It’s actually funny how far I’ve deluded myself into thinking that I actually had fun that night.  I realize now that I didn’t just “not have fun” that night…I REALLY didn’t have fun that night (considering I was elbowed in the face/chin by some big white dude who looked like he could have played football for some college in the south).  There was just too much touching, too much body heat and recycled air, so little space, and I got this funny feeling like I just hated everything there.  But like I said, I deluded myself into thinking that I had fun that night…I know its hard to believe, but when you want something that bad, it becomes REALLY easy to make yourself believe a lie.  When my friends asked me whether or not I had fun that night I did say no, but my reasons were 1) Got hurt, and 2) Didn’t like New Found Glory.  The thought that I actually hated the Goth/alternative scene AS A WHOLE didn’t even cross my mind. 


    But it does now.


    Reflecting on a more recent example, when I went to the Hoobastank concert with Brian, I had a Déjà vu-esque experience.  1) Got hurt again (this time, my arm), and 2) Got that funny feeling again that I didn’t like it there.  But I couldn’t blame the music this time.  I like Hoobastank and the fact that their guitarist (or is it bassist?) is actually pretty cute didn’t hurt.  Because of that, I definitely enjoyed that this concert more than the first one, but still…funny feelings…funny feelings…


    It’s not hard to see that I’ve changed since HS, and even since the first semester of college.  My tastes in music and clothing have changed, and even though my outlook on life still revolves around my hating most people and situations, I’ve learned to accept that maybe it’s just natural for me to hate things…lots of things…most things….Look, some people are just naturally happy; I’m just naturally…chock full o’ hate.  I mean, look at my face…in its most natural position, my face naturally falls into a scowl.  If that’s not a sign that hate and I were just meant to be emotional lovers, then I don’t know what is. 


    Don’t be frightened by my hateful nature.  My hate isn’t so strong that I’m going to kill someone; my hate is more like a constant, underlying, negativity.  It has not stopped me from making friends (even though it almost did…*uncomfortable laughter followed by shifty eyes*) and it hasn’t stopped me from trying new things.  But I just want you all to know that the Loretta you see now is the one that I’m pretty sure is TRUE.  So (!), you take me as you see me.  For all of you who want to know the REAL me better…1) I like alternative/rock music AND POP MUSIC both in English and CHINESE; 2) I like brand name clothing and accessories (that includes my Burberry and my C. Dior sunglasses which are now officially renamed “my precious”); 3) Though I’m not trying to be alternative anymore, I still like some of the alternative style, not including the bondage/S&M stuff (shudder); 4) I’m superficial to the core; 5) I still hate things, but I do love all of you…But you already knew that one, didn’t you?  You are all just too clever…

  • In pure L. Wang fashion, now that I have the opportunity to study, I’m avoiding it like the plague.  Some people have told me that my Xanga entries are too long/really long so I’ll keep this one short.  BYE! 


    ….


    ….


    GWAAAR!  I just can’t stop!  It’s like some sort of addiction…must make everybody know what I do everyday even if they don’t care…but if you don’t care, why are you reading this?  Oh, I can actually feel people closing their browser windows or pressing the ‘back’ button repeatedly.  But for those who are still here, this is what I did today…


    Well, yesterday actually…


    I didn’t study at all yesterday (tear) but that’s actually good because I really needed a break.  Instead I just watched TV and played Earthbound on my laptop.  That night Jessie took Tiff and me to Brian’s house where we had this TCWR cooking at B’s house thing (with Jenny, James, Loris, Tuan, B, Tiff, Jessie, and myself).  Let me just say that Jenny is an awesome cook!  We helped make wontons and then Tuan took Jessie, Tiff, and me to an Asian market where Tiff and I bought a duck and mochi ice cream.  I also bought a lemon and this SUPER CUTE BOTTLE OF EVIAN…stop shifting your eyes!…it was in the shape of a big water droplet and they’re limited edition bottles and they’re actually bottled right at the spring!


    We ate dinner at around 9 pm, and then we just sat around and talked until 1 am (quote of the night “I NEED GESTATION!”).  The sad thing was, since the group was so small, people were REALLY shifting their eyes at me and Tiffanie…YOU’D UNDERSTAND IF YOU BOTHERED TRYING!  Tiffanie and I had several outbursts of uncontrollable laughing, one so bad that Tiff actually had to leave the table so we could calm ourselves.  Jessie took me home later (thanks Jessie!), but had to go back to San Marino b/c Brian had her parking pass and that Revlon walk for women thing blocked off all of the parking near Century.  POOR JESSIE! 


    This morning I had the hardest time waking up because I was still exhausted from yesterday.  Jessie, Tiff, and I were late to Tai Chi but Jenny wasn’t there anyway b/c she was sick.  So when we got there, we just did a 24 group set, which I f-ed up on (as usual) but I had an excuse this time b/c I missed the last two classes, so I don’t know the last few moves.  I tried to learn them today but I’m just so damn lazy and all I could think about was sleep and microeconomics. 


    Brian took me home after Tiff taught B, Jess, and me some Eagle Claw!  Punch me!  Just punch me!  Ahhhh!  B and I bought Popeyes chicken then he dropped me off at Century. 


    Well, I guess I’ll start studying now…(sigh/vomit)…I actually kinda want to go to that SCWA bonfire that Tiff and Jess invited me to, but no.  I do need to study (even though Jessie says I’m too studious) and I don’t really know anyone in SCWA, so knowing me and my shame, I probably would have just burrowed under the sand and prayed for a swift and painless death anyway. 

  • If you played Mario Brothers (like the old school original version on original Nintendo) then you’ll like this link (it reminds me so much of my childhood!)…


    http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/mariotwins.htm

  • Note to all who are scared about their statistics final/grade:  This is what Stefan, my TA, said about how the professors graded the math final (from an email he sent us)…


    I just want to give a quick answer to a question a lot of people asked


    me, so I think you are all interested in the answer:


     


    The question is: why is my final exam score so low? I thought I only


    missed a couple of parts, but I really have a low score.


     


    Here is an approach to answer this question:


    1) The grading was very strict (BUT: for everybody!), I can tell you that. There were one or a couple of points taken off if the error was just minor (forgot negative sign etc…) but if the mistake was revealing major misunderstandings, the professors had no mercy. For example, if you applied continuity correction in problem 6 (normal distribution), it hurt you score pretty badly.


     


    2) Again this semester: The wording of some problems was just horrible.  There was a fierce discussion between all TA’s and the professors at the beginning of the grading (yes, it was obvious to all of us that the wording was bad – and for some reason we picked on exactly the same problems…), and we even ended up giving full score to different solutions for one problem. It’s problem 2c (with the two letters G and T, and how many ways there are to choose 2 G’s without regarding order…) (Here’s my favorite part…) I just don’t understand how the professors can be so conceited and don’t let others read over the problem they made up before they print it. But I used the opportunity of not being the only TA who is pissed, and I told them they should change something, so next semester, they will probably come to their TA’s and ask if the wording of their problem is ok. Wow. Unity makes strong…Sorry it doesn’t help you anymore. At least, if some of you got confused with this problem, you got credit of either one of the two possible solutions.


     


    3) The score might be lower than expected, but the ranking (and therefore the letter grade) might not be. Basically, almost everybody did worse than anticipated, and that’s good news for you! So don’t mind the actual score too much; the curve is gonna take care of this.


    On a lighter note…I GOT AN A ON MY STATS FINAL AND AN A IN THE CLASS!  WHOOP WHOOP!  And congratulations to DANIEL and MAI who also got As in the class. WE ROCK!  WE ROCK!  Who rocks?  WE ROCK!!! 


    Ahahahahahahah…my four days of studying straight sure paid off…


    Actually, I can’t help but feel that it didn’t.  I studied from Thursday afternoon until now (Thursday afternoon)…straight…stopping for only food, sleep, and bathroom breaks….For every grade I earned, I feel like I’ve lost something.  I missed two Tai Chi classes, so I’m way behind (they finished 24!!!  DAMNNNN!), and I’ve missed going out with my friends (no dinner yesterday, studied instead).  But I did gain something…a loud ringing in my right ear.  I blame stress, lack of rest, and constant music blaring in my ear.  When I study, I always study with my headphones on because I find it way easier to study listening to my music than hearing my roommates scream while they dye their friends’ hair.  I can tune-out my music (it has to be my music, not some stuff blasting from another room); I can make music into silence.  I don’t blame my roommates at all…but I wish sometimes they would realize that we are under “24-hour” quiet hours, not “quiet when you feel like it, loud at all other times.”  So…now I have this ringing in my right ear that flickers on and off, it’s the worst at night when I’m trying to sleep…it keeps me awake with its incessant tweeting…beeeeeep (stop) beeeeeep (stop) beep (stop) beeeeep (stop) beep (stop) bep (stop) bep (stop) beeeee…eeeep…you get the picture.


    My mythology final was pretty bad.  I gave this girl who lives across the hall the study sheet and my notes because I got the feeling like she never went to class.  I actually got really mad after that because it is not my responsibility to take care of her.  I would just have brushed it off if she was sick or something on the days he gave out the review sheet, but she actually asked me where to find the answers to the vocab, and if you just went to ONE lecture, you’d realize that the vocab words were those the professor defined during lecture.  Would it have killed her to go to class, any one of the TWO days that the professor brought the review sheet?  She wouldn’t even have had to stay the whole time, she could have gotten the sheet then left.  She’s nice and all, but I hate irresponsible people.  It makes me lose faith and trust in the world.  For we, the people, rule the world, and within us are the lazy and the ignorant…


    Luckily I have a cool-ass Mythology TA and she makes me feel good about my sad, sad, situation.  For instance, professor Vasunia usually makes us switch bluebooks with the person sitting next to us to make sure we’re not cheating.  I looked at the bluebook the guy next to me had, and it was all crumpled!  It looked like he ran it over with his car…again…and again…and again….I freaked out because I CAN’T WORK UNDER THOSE CONDITIONS!!!  So I run up to the “stage,” and tell Kathy (my TA) of my predicament…she tells me to calm down, and if I get a crap BB to flag her down and she will secretly switch mine for a new one…ahehehehehe…I actually ended up switching seats to the seat I sit in for lecture and the girl next to me had a clean book, so when we switched, Kathy and I gave each other thumbs up.  Oh, I f-ed up the essay portion…my exact thought was “where am I going with this…”  (mental vomit in horror, mental vomit in horror). 


    So yeah. 


    After I got home from that, I immediately started studying for my ITP final…that’s right kids, Loretta had three finals in three days.  Clap for her misfortune, everybody clap!  I actually almost died right then and there when I realized that I didn’t read two of the chapters…but I managed to pull through and my roommate and I went to bed by 11:00 pm, which doesn’t really matter for me b/c I have this sleep problem where unless I’m dead tired I will not fall asleep for at least 1 hour and my screaming ear didn’t help (TWEET TWEET).  So I lie there for 1.5 hours and when I’m really, really close to sleep (I can tell b/c my awake thoughts become really weird and stupid, like dream thoughts) this SUPER LOUD girl comes into the apartment and she is complaining about how her hair is turning pink or something and about how her friend wears only thongs…seriously…this is what I have to deal with the night before my finals…the horror.  I wanted to explode in my bed and somehow have the blast kill everyone who has ever kept me awake unnecessarily this past week.


    Do I have a rage problem?