March 29, 2003
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WHY DO I HATE THE USC LAUNDRY SYSTEM?
All I want is for one load of laundry to finish on time and not cost me 5lbs worth of quarters. But do I ever get a break? NO! The Century Apts. Laundry room hates me, my clothes, my mom, my dog, and probably my future husband and children! Here’s the story…
I wake up at
Some idiotic monkey-spank has left their laundry in there from the night before. But luckily, all I need is ONE washer and ONE dryer and that’s it (we have two of each in the laundry room which is not enough for a whole floor of kids). Ok, so my clothes wash just fine (it cost me $1.00) and then I go put my laundry into the dryer. I pay the $ .50, and let the damn thing run for the hour I paid for. I go back to get my laundry, laundry bag in hand, to find that my time has run out, BUT my clothes ARE NOT DRY! They’re still fresh-from-the-washer WET! It’s like I paid for nothing! Ok, I’m a reasonable person and I put 50 more cents into the dryer coin thing, and I press “whites and colors” but it doesn’t turn on! The timer runs, but I get no air! THE FUCKING BASTARD DRYER EATS MY MONEY and I GET NO DRYING! NONE! NONE! NONE!
ANGER LEVEL RISING...
Hyperventilating, I put ANOTHER 50 cents into another dryer, throw my wet clothes into that one, and thank god, this one actually ran! I’m just waiting for it to explode, destroying all of my clothes. A perfect end, to a perfect day.
Thus, I spent $2.50 on ONE LOAD OF LAUNDRY. I could easily have done 2 loads for that amount of money, but NO! The evil dryer decided to ruin my day and eat all of my money AND THEN (!) it has the audacity to send me pompous, furtive glances. It is so proud of itself! Bitch, I will KILL YOU!
Oh yeah. In the 2004 election, DO NOT VOTE FOR LAROUCHE! His diabolical team of solicitors harassed me yesterday and would not let me pass unless I gave them $5. That’s right. FIVE DOLLARS! They refused my offer of $1 (which I thought was fucking ridiculous because people like them should just take what they can get) and then TOLD ME (rather, COERCED me) to give them FIVE DOLLARS!!!
And to all of the LaRouche supporters, I don’t mean to be offensive, but your damn brethren have destroyed my sense of patriotism when it comes to voting and democracy. DOWN WITH LAROUCHE!!!
THERE IS NO DENYING IT ANYMORE! JIMMIES ARE REAL!
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-hoooo! You all thought I was crazy! The one girl who called sprinkles “Jimmies!” I was persecuted, insulted, and mocked by total strangers…Tiffanie’s pointing finger still haunts my dreams…but I still reign supreme!
Yesterday Tiff, Nissa, and I went to Parkside for dinner. To our (especially Tiffanie’s) excitement there was an ICE CREAM BAR in there! With Columbo soft-serve and coffee ice cream! Of course, Tiffanie goes straight for the ice cream. While I was checking out the toppings, spying the sprinkles, I said, “oh, Jimmies!” And after a 30-second pause where time seemed to stand still, Tiffanie was like, “Did you just say…Jimmies? What the hell are JIMMIES?!”
JIMMIES ARE SPRINKLES, DAMNIT!!!
We asked Nissa whether or not there was another name for sprinkles and she says no. When Jason joins us, we ask him the same questions and he says “yes, Jimmies.” YAY! Ahahah. But it was all down-hill for team Jimmy from there. We started a phone-calling campaign where Tiff and I swept through our phonebooks looking for knowledgeable friends. Every single person denied the existence of Jimmies, and then asked me if I was crazy, or if I was on crack, or if I was “okay.” Even total strangers questioned my sanity, and asked me what country I was from!
I was frustrated. Team Jimmy’s morale was at an all-time low. And then THE phone call came. One of Tiffanie’s friend’s friend said that there was a Jimmy reference in The Simpsons! Ah-HA! That seals it! JIMMYS ARE REAL! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I’m the winner! Jimmies and sprinkles are one-and-the-same! I even found a website the sold sprinkles and they called them “Jimmies” too! Of course, Tiffanie claims that I somehow made the webpage with Frontpage. Blasphemy!
Ahahaha. Life sure is weird!
**--**Loretta “JIMMIES ARE REAL!” Wang**--**
Comments (3)
i've never heard of jimmies but if they're in simpsons then they must be real. hehe. sucks about your clothes. you definetely should give that dryer a beat down. take care. bye.
I know that you're not just trippin boo...I've heard an abundance of people call them jimmies. So don't fret. I believe you! Anyway I'll try and call you tomorrow on your celly. If not, then definitely on Thursday. I will call you. Talk to you later.
You ass!!! I just read the comment you wrote for me. Grrr. I spit on you (insert evil spit). I was also going to say it's a shame that you lost all your money doing one load of laundry, but after reading the comment...MWAHAHA. I am the manufacturer of those intrepid machines. I do often look back on the past and laugh sometimes at what I used to be. I think if affected me sooo much, that I regret it. I'll know I'll be laughing when I finish the year and come home.
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